Housemate Advice Wanted!!!

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Shock, Jul 24, 2007.

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  1. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    Hey everyone!

    Sorry if this is a little unclear

    I need some advice about a housemate situation. Ill try and make this sound as non-biased as possible, but keep in mind I am only writing from my point of view.

    I am a student and I share a house with two other housemates who are also students. One of these housemates is my best friend and cousin. The other was a friend who joined us after we had found the house and moved in and needed a third house mate. This 3rd housemate is slightly messy, as in leaving dirty dishes out and tissues on the floor.

    Any way me and my cousin, Jon, who are very clean people, decided to make a point about asking the 3rd housemate, Tina, to clean up more. Not wanting to offend we told her we wernt trying to attack her or 'gang up' on her. She pointed out that she cleaned the shower. I pointed out that I tidied up after a gathering she had with her friends. She said she would have done that if I hadn't done it first. And with that she stormed off before we could say anymore and now we are in a 'cold war' situation, with her threatening to move out.

    Ok so, what Im really asking here is, was I wrong in bringing this up in such away? I feel Tina is overeacting to the situation but I think maybe I should not have been so confronting, especially me and Jon at the sametime. Also, do you think the concept of she joining us in the house we were already living in (as opposed to all 3 of us finding and moving into a house together) has any bearing on the situation?

    I know I cant really relay the situation very well like this but I appreciate anyones criticisms and suggestions. I just feel a bit angry and confused right now and need a second opinion

    Thank You! Much love:laugh:
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to sit down and talk this thru as soon as possible cos if you leave it the cold war will just get worse.
    When I was sharing we had a rota for cleaning duties so that everyone knew what their responsibilities to the house were and there was no room for misunderstanding. That might help..especially if you all sit down and agree on it so there is no feelings of being ganged up on.

    Being a messy bugger meself I can relate to your housemate, she probably was gonna clean up her mess..just not immediately. When you have a talk with her laugh at "your need for clean and tidy" so that the mood is lightened and she doesn't feel under attack, but she does have to give and take a bit here cos otherwise the mess will drive you nuts.
     
  3. Darkness N Light

    Darkness N Light Staff Alumni

    Shock,
    I agree with Terry you need to sit down and have another talk as soon as possible or things are just going to get a whole lot worse. I would also suggest like Terry kind of did to have a list on who cleans and does what on which days. This way everyone is doing something and not just one or two people are doing it. If you make out a rota on who does what on what days then it should be pretty easy for everyone to clean and not get mad about anything. Take care and I love you. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss


    With Love,
    Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss
     
  4. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the advice guys.

    I am trying to talk to her but she simply ignores me and walks away. We did draw up a roster a while back but she ignored that too, saying her work shifts are too irratical for it to work.

    it sounds mean but right now I am really not in the mood deal with this sort of immaturity. it is a shame that ill be losing a friend, but if she cant meet me half way to patch things up, then she should probably go. lol this is probably just the angre in me talking though
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Nah..if she wont meet you halfway then its probably better she moves out.
     
  6. When you sit down and talk with her just make sure you don't act as though she's the problem. Act as though there's a problem with communication. Create a system that everyone will agree on and follow it. Try to be neutral.
     
  7. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    thanks YouWillBeHappy ill remember that for next time!
     
  8. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    lol, Terry, right now I couldnt agree more! Its hard enough getting her to listen to you, let alone having an issue resolving conversation. Thanks for the opinion :)
     
  9. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    I thought i let you know how its gone. Things are better now! after blatantly ignoring us for three days i think she gave up and returned to normal. BUT she is cleaning up now and putting in a lot more effort around the house!!! hooray!
     
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :wootrock:
     
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