How am i here?

[Lerf]

So recently I lived in TN. My step father got stage 4 cancer and he ended up passing away two years later. He worked through it luckily enough for my mother and I to be able to buy a small house here in AZ. We spent most of that money to move with some family in Los Angeles before we found an affordable house in AZ. Due to all the things collapsing on me I had to drop my mechanical engineering degree to try to pursue just finding a different route. So now I'm here in AZ and just 8 months ago I was still upset from his death and I started drinking (age 22). And my mom is a good lady but she is just a little over compulsive sometimes. I drank too much and ended up attempting suicide. She flipped out and called the cops and I was in a mental place for one week. So crazy. So now it just demotivated me to to do anything. I lost all my friends and everything. Sad part is most people come here for girl problems and luckily I haven't had any in the past four years. I just don't know where to start. Our house is paid off but now we are out of money and i don't know where to work. It's so depressing starting from the bottom knowing I could be making 60k a year if I finished college. I wonder too why god didn't send me a girl to help me get through this... It's like just bad luck, I look better than most people but it's like everyone is racist or something. Anyone know a good place to start... A good job in the phoenix az area that could just let me settle down? And recently a girl that I liked has gone with someone else with a ton of money and it's just so sick. I can't stand being better than people yet not having the tools they have. I've just had it and I've been like hitting my head out of frustration and it's just so sick.

I'm Bryan btw

 

[Acy]

Hi, Lerf.

You've had more than your fair share of burdens the last while. :hug: I'm glad that you and your family were able to move and resettle in AZ. I'm sorry your lost your dad. I also sorry that could not continue with the engineering.

You are still young - it's not too late to return to college and reset your career path. Yes, it would take work - to support the family and save enough for school. It wouldn't happen right away, but it could be a long-term goal.

Maybe the first step is to get "a job", any job. It looks nice on a résumé when someone is willing to work at whatever to support him/herself and keep going. Then maybe decide if you want to do engineering still or some other sort of career. Explore colleges/unis where the programs are offered, find out what it would cost and what grants/loans/scholarships you might be eligible for. Save some of your earnings - even $25 from every pay will add up over time. Perhaps look into taking some courses in the evenings or online now to get those out of the way if you decide to go back to school full-time later on.

Since you are in the US, I imagine there are government agencies that help people find jobs and do training assessments and career guidance, and even help people find funding for a return to school. Those might be things to look into...they can certainly help a person make plans for education and finding a better job.

I realize you are disheartened when you think you could have a better job already. Chances are, you would not be starting in a job that pays $60K right out of college...It might be more than we'd get doing a low-wage service job, true. But you would not start at the top level. And since you are in an entirely different space in life because of family circumstances, looking back and regretting the past doesn't help. It keeps us stuck when we churn over the past again and again. I think maybe look ahead to what you would like to MAKE of your life going forward and think about how you can achieve that. If you want/need support on how develop the plan and set the goals, see if the government agencies can give you a hand.

I think it is do-able with time and hard work. Of course you feel a little overwhelmed and hard done by in life right now - you have had some major roadblocks. But I truly think that you can find a way to get past the roadblocks. If you were able to get into the engineering program before, you certainly have the brains to do it again. If we can support you in helping to find the get up and go to do it, just talk to us here.

Believe in yourself. Stay safe. :hug: