sorry for my bad english.. at an age of 11 or 12, i was usually home alone and eat all by myself. at first it's fine with me, because i'm free and i just sit and play in front of my computer. year 2010, i'm all by myself again, i don't know the reason but i suddenly cried. i think i am pissed off being all alone. i have a lot of friends, but i feel like i am all alone. recently i even celebrated my birthday all alone in the mall. i want to have a meaningful birthday again. i also started to hate trusting people. why do people don't know how to keep a secret? i am also losing interest in going to school because a friend of mine that i hate most is my classmate. i want someone to talk to but no one is there to have a deep conversation with me, they will surely tell other how awful i am. nobody understands me. some people even tell me that i only talked to them when i need them, can't they understand that i'm giving my full effort to get in touch with them as much as possible? is being an introvert a curse? because only 20% in this world are introverts and the rest are normal extroverts. i am even scared to start a relationship because there maybe a time when i don't want to talk to anybody, and a relationship needs a constant communication. even the girl i loved that i haven't talked to for several days, doesn't want to talk to me again. i am 19 and my life is still the same, i have so much love to give but nobody wants it, nobody will ever care how much i feel and nobody will ever have the time to understand me because of this revolving busy world. i know it may sound like i'm an attention wh0re but i didn't choose to be like this! i hope that someday even one person would care to understand and love me for who i am. even just one person... one person..