How badly do you crave friendship and companionship?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Jun 29, 2009.

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  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Because over the years I have craved it so badly, I even came online in search of friends and found a really cool website back in 2004 that actually had an entire section on it dedicated to helping people who were new to London, make new friends.
    I wasn't new to London but I went on there anyway and met lots of fun, interesting new people.
    Now as I've said I went on there back in mid 2004, it is now mid 2009. Five years.

    The first batch of people I met I have no contact with, neither do I the second or the third of the fourth or the fifth and it carries on. I'd say all in all I met well over 100 people from the site and I keep in touch with about twelve of them.
    My Mum asked me why that was and I said they were bad friends, once they realised I wasn't useful I hardly ever saw them, until it came to a point where I stopped picking up their calls or they stopped agreeing to things whenever I would ask.

    She had the nerve to say isn't it better to just have people around then no people at all.

    I wanted to ask others about this - would you rather be surrounded by people who you knew were using you for nights out, companionship to fill their own lonely days (until someone better and more suited to their personalities comes along), someone to get drunk with and so on than people who genuinely care about you, love you, appreciate your friendship and want to be there for you as well as you giving all of this back?

    The friends I have met from that website were all just using me temporarily until better ones came along, they were all lying and deceitful 'opportunists', and I can't help but to think maybe it's because I am not 'normal' that I was taken advantage of. I know that some of them are still close, but I get the impression they are all using each other so it works for them.
    It's not like you can advertise for a best friend is it, they just happen/come about.
    You can only ask for friends and hope that one of them turns into that.
     
  2. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    I'd rather be alone....

    You have to be very careful around new people. Make sure they want the same things you want before meeting them, otherwise it'll end in disaster. Most people are only out for what they can get. It takes years to fully know and understand someone.

    I crave friendship and companionship immensely, but if the other person isn't in to me or is only using me, what's the point? It's just even more lonely and depressing than being alone.

    Hope everything's okay with you, haven't chatted in a while. :smile:
     
  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    You're right.
    I'd feel so weird asking them though. The crappy thing is a couple of times I've met people who I thought were on the same wavelength and they have been no different, I'll only get a call when they're feeling lonely or bored or whatever. It's pretty crap of them esp. as they're depressed as well and I would've thought they would have known better?
    *sighs*

    I'm good hun, how are you? I haven't been on msn in ages for some reason, I keep thinking I should be reading or something but that doesn't happen either. lol. Must get on soon for a chat and a catch up. :)
     
  4. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    :hug: I prefer to be alone the majority of the time, but there are times when i wish my friends would make more of an effort with me and ask me out or come round mine or even just text me.
    I was overjoyed to get a text from a college friend saying she missed me at the leavers ceremony today! But thats a rare occurence and i often wish they'd make more effort.
    But i'd rather suffer in silence than tell people i want them to make more of an effort.
     
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i know how you feel. all my life i called myself 'a safety blanket' i'd feel used so badly by a lot of people.

    as for your question, no way. but in the past i have been used, have been a 'crutch' and didn't know it until afterwards. my ex gf doesn't want to know me. nobody wants to know me when i start opening my mouth and tell them how they've treated me.
     
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