how can i be suicidal and happy

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dimitry, Jun 4, 2015.

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  1. dimitry

    dimitry New Member


    its been a year of self harm , and it ended up with a failed suicide attempt two weeks ago

    anyway , my question is :

    now im not really depressed that much , have a nice girlfriend supporting me , i have friends and family around me ,,,,,,
    but i just wanna end it all so bad , whenever im stressed i feel like im gonna do it , whenever im really happy , i wanna do it

    how can i have a happy life and still want to kill myself ?????!!!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 4, 2015
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome, I have edited your post as we pro life and cannot discuss methods.

    Depression can be simply a chemical imbalance so you really need to see your doctor to get a diagnosis. I can understand having everything you want and a good life and still see the 'dark side' but you must try and keep yourself occupied and talk about what is bothering you. There are others who feel like you do and personally I have been there myself so keep talking to us here and we will try and help!
  3. dimitry

    dimitry New Member

    petal , thanx for ur answer

    i rewrote this reply about 4 times , to make it sound like what i really wanna say
    and i still failed

    i guess this is the problem , i dont know how to say what i feel
    which makes the doctor idea seem useless to me

    i sometimes get a thought of getting into a space shuttle and travelling into space and leaving everything behind , thats the only thing that feels like a solution to me
    which is kind of impossible

    so my brain just suggests suicide as the easy solution
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    At the beginning it can be hard to talk about depression, because you don't know what's going on and why but as time goes on you may be able to open up more and I do hope that you do. You are most welcome, I am always on here if you need someone just even to chit chat to.

    Put as much effort into getting better rather than thinking of ways to die although you may not feel in control of those thoughts. I wish you all the best and keep posting and keep us updated :)
  5. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    If you have considered suicide for very long, the thought of taking your life can be almost automatic. I lost my job, gonna kill myself; burnt my pizza, gonna kill myself; stubbed my toe....... Well you get the idea. Just about anything can bring the thought to mind. Try and tell your brain that it is NOT the solution. Tell it that over and over and over again. You just may eventually succeed in reducing the number of times you think of it. But like changing a bad habit, it will take time.
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