Words just don't always work to describe the pain that comes with this time of year.. Ever since my twin brother died a few years ago, my life have been unraveling. I loved the man, he was my brother, my best friend, we were soul mates, I was never alone as long as he was alive.. Peas in a pod.. I actualy knew him for longer then he lived.. we shared the same wome for 9 months before we were born... then he died and I couldn't do a thing to help him... I WISH I WERE DEAD... I have tried in the past and still bear the scars... As each year passes and time goes on... it just gets worce... the raw pain is gone, but he calls to me some times and I have to stop what I am doing an CRY.. I am a big hard 6ft 200lb man, but I have to stop and weep.. My tears burn down my face.. I morn for him and feel so angry at the same time... Death seems to be an answer to my pain, but it doesn't come quick enought.. so I drink it away. That's why my life is unraveling before me, wife, job,money, just don't mean anything any more. Like I said words just can't decribe what I am feeling..