How can I feel worthy?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by melosine, Dec 26, 2009.

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  1. melosine

    melosine Active Member

    I feel like crap all the time when I go out with my mom and sister. They are known to be better looking than me and strangers and family point that out in front of me. While Im there sulking in the corner, I feel like the ugly duckling with no personality. I use to be pretty but then my mom told me(when I was 11) that I would look better if my nose didnt look a certain way, then I started to fiddle with my nose. My nose became worse (cant describe how that I happened) but I kept touching my nose. Then I grew miserable and now my younger sister bloomed into swan while I grew up looking like crap, thanks to mom. I dont want to be jealous but I am, now I feel like Im unworthy and depressed. I feel so ugly. Should I leave this family? How can I feel better when there is no way for me to feel good about myself?
  2. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    By finding something good about yourself. If you are, as you say, ugly, why should you focus on that? I am not good at, say, football, so I do not care about that. Find something else to focus on. And, honestly, there are alot of females which think they look ugly, but do not. Low self-esteem or too high standards, I believe, are the cause.

    Why is there no way for you to feel good about yourself? Because you percieve yourself not as attractive as your sister? One of you was going to be better-looking anyway. And what do you think you are unworthy of? I do not know you, nor did you provide much detail, but somehow I doubt that looks alone 'make or break' a person's worthiness. Maybe if you were aiming to be some sort of model or prostitute, but other than that, looks do not matter. I have yet to meet a person whom would scorn you for not being as 'pretty' as your sister, and if they did, would you wish to be around them?
    And who knows, maybe she is abnormally pretty. But you can always laugh at her once you're both old, where you have spent your life doing something constructive other than being pretty.

    Rambling, possibly insensitive. If so, I apologise.
  3. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    How can you feel worthy? Live for yourself.
  4. Disappear

    Disappear Well-Known Member

    We often need to learn that from family, being accepted and worthy within the family. Without that it can be really terrible on a person. I know this for myself. You sound young though? As angelo said, you need to live for yourself, find other ways to feel better about yourself and not rely on your family for that reassurance.
  5. friendless

    friendless Well-Known Member

    I'm still mastering this myself so I don't know how qualified I am to give advice. I've always been an ugly duckling so I don't peg how I feel about myself to my appearance. I feel worthy because I am doing my best to better myself, my life, and to help those in need. I'm getting a college education so that my family has a chance at a better life and I'm beginning to get into hobbies that are fun and I'm good at. I found someone who loves me the way I am so I feel very lucky.

    It's like Regina Spector's On the Radio
    This is how it works
    You're young until you're not
    You love until you don't
    You try until you can't
    You laugh until you cry
    You cry until you laugh
    And everyone must breathe
    Until their dying breath

    No, this is how it works
    You peer inside yourself
    You take the things you like
    And try to love the things you took
    And then you take that love you made
    And stick it into some
    Someone else's heart
    Pumping someone else's blood
    And walking arm in arm
    You hope it don't get harmed
    But even if it does
    You'll just do it all again
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