How can i go on anylonger.. i cant!

I am tired of life, tired of my existance. I actually went to the store today and had the means of ending my life in my hands, and somehow I put it down and instead bought a few movies. I have no friends to talk to anymore, and only my parents that I moved in with. I have refused to move back into my vacant house, not because of the reason I have told my parents that I am trying to sell it, but rather just to have SOMEONE, Anyone to talk to. I also was going to move to a new town "to start a new life", but I guess I am scared of being alone without even my parents around. They are barely living with their health issues, and I cant imagine what I will do when they pass away in the coming years. All I can think about is how I will kill myself, almost every second of the day.

I have tried to be a good person, a kind person, but I dont have that outgoing personality that attracts people, especially the opposite sex (women). I have never even kissed a woman, and I basically expect never to at this point, what whats the point of spending the next 20 years alone. I think it will be soon, really soon! I just cant stand looking at myself anymore in the mirror. I feel worthless, and ugly. Its no wonder no one wants to date me, or be my friend. So be it!

:itachi:

 

hello,

well done for putting it down. i'm proud of you

what's got you to this point

we would like to help you

 

Hello Jacob1973,

My congratulations - you as a lot of people have two parts - you have the part that wants you to suicide and the part that wants you to be alive. The part that wants you to be alive is the winner now - hold onto this as its very important.

I want to be your friend, you will find a lot of people who want to be your friend - we are here to help you, we are here to make you feel accepted and to provide you with as much help as you want. It is very important to have someone in your life to talk to.

You don't need to kill yourself, i am here to help you with this.

Suicidal thoughts are caused by what happened, the important thing to remember is that whatever happened it can be dealt with. It might sound easy to say and difficult to get it done, I understand this feeling but believe me it's not as hard as you think it is.

I am sure in the heart you are a good and kind person - you don't need to try to show this - you are already showing this. You say you never kissed a woman, that's fine - there is no certain date nor a deadline of when you should kiss a woman - the time will come to you like it comes to all people where you will meet a woman and kiss her and have sex with her and marry her.

Finding a girlfriend and wife has nothing to do with how ugly or pretty you look - it has a lot to do with your personality, your character. Things like finding a girlfriend/wife won't happen in a day (ie. quickly) - they take their time - you have all the time you need in your hands.

Now you are saying that you basically want to have a girlfriend/wife - having friends would help you achieve this goal - do you think you can do some research to find out some organizations that you can help out voluntarily for some time to get into a group? If you can and want to do a list with things you like, for example do you like animals?, do you like playing chess? (etc).