How can I heal and move on

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ZakPup, Jun 3, 2011.

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  1. ZakPup

    ZakPup Well-Known Member

    Hey all I'm recently out of an abusive relationship. Both emotional and physical. I brought it on myself by cheating on him a couple of times. And he would always bring it up, put me down and make me feel totally worthless. He kept me from talking and seeing my family and friends or even use the computer without his supervision cause he said I would just cheat on him again. I loved him and I just kept putting it off as he just loved me and was being protective of me. But near the end I knew he was cheating on me and whenever I asked him about what was going on he would always bring up me cheating on him. I became self destructive by beating myself and burning myself with cigarettes.

    He also beat me on a couple of occasions, two times sending me to work with a big black eye and cuts on my face. All the times he was extremely drunk. All the times he put his hands around my throat and threatened to kill me. He always went for the same spot on my head and I think he did some damage to it cause I get headaches there every now and again.

    I still love him and he is off with some girl which i know hes now abusing as he did me. But how can I move on after he caused me so much pain, after he put these mental and physical scars on me. How do I move on, Its been 6 months since we broke up and I'm still hurting on the inside. How can I move on?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 3, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu get help for YOU okay youget therapy to help you deal with the abuse you suffered you get therapy to help build up your self esteem again Is there a program in your area that help abused women can you look into that. You need help hun to deal with all the past so you can move forward hugs
  3. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    As said above, get help. Very unlikely you'll get through such an ordeal and ever get back to"normal" without help.

    I know this probably won't even register. But you have no reason to feel guilt over abuse done to you. You are not the one to blame!
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    call up your local women's shelter and see if they can refer you to a counsellor or group that specializes in women who have been abused. you can't fix this alone. you were brainwashed into loving him, it will take some work to change your thinking. but it can be done. make that call.
  5. ZakPup

    ZakPup Well-Known Member

    Forgot to mention i am male. So I can not find a place. Are there places for men?
  6. Lady E

    Lady E Well-Known Member

    Of course there are places for men, for more information and where you can go for help and support call: 1-800-799-7233. They can offer you resources in your area and advice on what is the next step to take. They can in the very least give you the numbers of some local places for support groups and counseling.
    You didn't bring the abuse on by cheating or anything else. He would have found another excuse to be physically violent with you and control/belittle you.
    You deserve so much more.
  7. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    You have got out of the abusive relationship, so well done!
    I hope you can start to forgive yourself and not lay blame.
    You can't control his emotions and how he expresses them, but you can control your own.
    For every abusive relationship there is one of beauty, often these occur from experiences that we have learnt from.
    Be kind to yourself and others, rewards endless........................
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