How can I help her?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Xistence, May 11, 2008.

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  1. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    My girlfriend has episodes where she will eat very little and then she will get a craving for something, but when she eats it, she purges. I want to help her get through this, but I don't know where to start. I wish I could be there, but it is a long distance relationship and I can't be there to hold her. :sad:

    Does anyone here have any advice that I could give her to help her break the habit? I want her to be happy and healthy, but she thinks that she it too messed up to fix and she is very insecure.

  2. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    If its a emotional reason why shes throwing up after she eats maybe she feels ugly. From what I have been told by many people suffering from a eating disorder they throw up because they feel ugly. They think they are to fat to be attractive and it hurts them so bad they have to do something about it and this is the only way they can find at the time. If thats the case it might help if you let her know how beautiful she is.. My advice is not the best on this subject as I have never went thru it myself. I did try it once and when I couldnt get myself to throw up I shoved a spoon down my throat which got stuck and I got all panickie, yes I did manage to calm down and get it out..This is only the second time I have said anything about it since it happened (and its been 8 years ago). I hope you can help her.
  3. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Thank you for responding. :smile: I remind her that she is beautiful, but she doesn't understand how I can think so.

    Perhaps she would feel better about it if I convinced her to try to get healthy with me, like eating right and stuff. She would lose weight and feel more confident maybe.
  4. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    You need to do more then remind her, you need to show her.. Think of something that would really prove to her that she is beautiful. Find some little confidence boosters.. You said its a long distance relationship..So I may be going in the wrong direction with this but.. When you are with her point out how someone looked at her and smiled. I feel good when I catch someone looking at me and smiling.. I doubt they are smiling because Im attractive but I can convince myself thats what they are thinking and I feel good about myself for a while.. If you dont get the chance to be with her much maybe you could tell her how a friend complimented her photo - make a point of saying what your friend said was beautiful about her.. Also make a point of how beauitful she is to you not only because of her body but because of her personality/her soul. I dont know if that would help with body image but its sure a nice confidence booster.
  5. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the advice. :smile: She thinks I'm crazy, but I just tell her that I'm crazy about her.

    I'm going to find a way to help her with this, even if she doesn't think she can be helped. I wish she could see herself the way I see her.
  6. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Your Welcome.. I try to be of the best help that I can. I know sometimes I can be just as annoying as a therapist (I get that from everyone I have ever seen telling me Im smarter then they are and I should have their job, they should be sitting there telling me their problems) but if I can actually do someone some good then I have at least done a little something to help people in this world..
  7. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Ask her how she's feeling. Listen to her carefully.

    It might not be to do with something that's purely physical.

    She's probably going through a lot of emotional stress/things and she's communicating that to you in the only way she knows how. I suppose the hard thing is trying to find out what she's trying to say. And you might not get the answer easily, it might not be simple and it might take years of finding out.

    I just suggest offering yourself as an emotional support. She's hiding her feelings, she's trying to cope with something/things.

    You sound very caring by the way. I think she'd love to hear that you care. Just let her know that you're worried about her. That can be enough for know that someone notices.
  8. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    thank you for responding :smile:

    I wish I could make everything better for her, but I know that I can only be there to help her along. I'll keep reminding her that I'm there for her.
  9. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    honestly, depending on how bad she is there's not much you can do but be there for her. Remind her that you're always there to listen, no matter what you do DO NOT tell her that you understand, and telling her that she is thin or pretty will most likely just make her not trust you. That may be different for everyone though. It's hard, there's not much you can see unless she's willing to hear it. The most important thing is just that she knows you're there.
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