This is long but please read on, I am truly lost and helpless . For me, my friends problems come before my own. I am always ready to offer a shoulder to cry on after bad break-ups, family issues, exam failures etc. I'm extremely lucky to be surrounded by incredible friends and an amazing family. My tight knit friendship group consists of me and 6 other girls. We've been friends since primary school! My closest friend of the group is a happy, beautiful, amazing girl who I love loads. If you met her you would think she was like any other bubbly young woman, she has a great family, good job, kind spirit and loving nature. But recently things have changed... She still acts her usual self around others, so it seems all is well. But as I know her inside out I could tell something heavy was on her mind. My fears were confirmed a couple of weeks ago. We were walking home from a party, I was a little tipsy but she was completely sober. Then she started telling me how she has felt very down recently but can't explain why. That all of a sudden she will feel suicidal and can't help it. She had no idea why these thoughts came upon her but they took such force that it scared her. When she saw my unease and shock she tried to explain how it wasn't all the time but I was still shaken so she continued to explain. She said how no one would really miss her if she wasn't around (which is insanely untrue!!) and as I exclaimed against this she kept cutting me off. She went on to say how she had done "personality tests" and "suicidal quizzes" which had rated her as depressed and in a bad way. As we approached her house, she said very sternly that I wasn't to worry and that telling me was a sign that she would do something about it in her own time. Also that I was not to tell ANYBODY. Then as I walked home I felt really dizzy. I couldn't cry and I wasn't even sad just emotionless. I sat on a bench outside my house trying to figure out what was going on. I realized I was shaking. The next morning, in a blurred hazed I remembered her words. I also remembered how badly I had reacted. I hadn't said very much and felt incredibly guilty!! so I wrote her a long inbox explaining how I was always there and that she could always rely on me. She wrote kind words back and then we lapsed into a usual casual conversation like nothing had happened. Over the past couple of weeks she has appeared fine and I know I should have checked up and talked to her more about it but I didn't want to be patronizing. I told myself that she had told me so hopefully like she had said that she would seek help. But last night we were at a friends house and she took me upstairs for a gossip. But the chat became very dark... We was talking about our holidays and suddenly she said "I've set a date, in September when I get back." At first confused I just looked at her blankly. Her returned gaze was with sad eyes, never had I seen such sad eyes!! In realization I was rendered speechless. But when she began to speak again I cut her off adding "no no don't say that!!" and the same guilt i felt a couple of weeks back consumed me as my brain paced to try and think of the words to say to her, to console her, to make her stop saying and thinking things like that! I wanted to ask her what was truly on her mind, find the core of the problem, persuade to get help right now! But the words didn't come and we sat in silence. Then another friend burst in the room dragging us downstairs to dance. The awful thing is I continued as normal. I know that was so insanely crazy- my best friend just told me she had set a date to end her life and I just danced and laughed right in front of her. But I do care beyond imagination and I felt so bewildered I didn't know what to do Now the next day sitting here I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I have no idea what to do. My best friend is truly in a dark place and there is nothing I can do to help her. I feel ridiculous and ashamed that i can't say the right things or help her in some way. I feel so lost. What on earth would I do if she did commit suicide. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I knew but did nothing. She means so much to me I can't lose her!!! This is why I came here in desperation!! What can I do to help? What can I say to make it better? To make her realize how much she is loved and needed. That she has her whole life ahead of her. How do I persuade to seek medical advise to rid herself of these dark thoughts and uncontrollable depressing forces/feelings? Thank you so much if you have read this I appreciate it more than you can know. I would be extremely grateful for any replies!