How can I learn to accept myself?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Witty_Sarcasm, May 2, 2016.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I don't think there is much I like about myself. Some people call me ugly, some call me pretty, and I'm not sure what to believe. I doubt I can ever afford plastic surgery, so how can I learn to be happy with who I am?
     
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Witty, it sounds like you are wrapped up in your physical appearance. A very American thing. Television and movies, clothing, heck just about everything in this country stresses physical beauty. I would hope that you could focus on what's inside. You are a very caring person. That is obvious in many of your posts. And I would much rather have a caring person as a friend then a beauty queen. External beauty withers. We wrinkle (boy do I know that). Things sag. Hair goes gray or falls out. But the beauty that is inside is able to grow and grow throughout one's life. Focus on the inside.

    You also might want to try hanging around a bus stop for a bit, or a mall, or park. Any place where people gather. Then take a look at them. You will find very few who look like the Hollywood image. Must of us are just normal folk. Too short or too tall. Big nose or small nose. Too fat or too thin. Don't be so hard on yourself. Perfection only seems to come to those who can afford to hire their own make up artist, hair stylist, tailors and light specialists who know just what kind of lighting makes on look their best. And I'm not at all sure that kind of hassle is worth it.
     
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  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you :) I know I need to focus on my good qualities more than what I lack. Sometimes it just seems like I'm inadequate but maybe I am being too hard on myself.
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I have dealt with a lot of these same thoughts, and I still do...

    But the truth is that what really makes you beautiful is who you are inside. It sounds like a bad cliche, but honestly, I've experienced myself. Meeting someone, and as I got to know them they looked so much more beautiful because I realized who they were inside... or the other way around.

    I have always tried to avoid my mirror... I could only see the bad things...
    One thing that helped for me was my boyfriend working on building my confidence up and praising me... people have told me before I was pretty, and I dismissed it... but I allowed his opinion to matter... and I tried to look in the mirror and see what he saw.

    Today I actually think I have a pretty face, nice hair and all...

    Not compared to other people... but compared to myself. I am me. And you are you. You don't have to live up to some standards or fashion or what ever.
     
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  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I am glad that you were able to start to feel better about yourself, because you are a great person :) Sometimes I just feel like no one wants to be around me. I don't know if it's my looks or something else about me, but the feeling of being rejected really can hurt. Then I start to question and doubt myself, to wonder if I will ever be good enough, and that can be hard to get out of my head.
     
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    People who reject or judge you are not worth your time, that's one lesson I learned!

    Once you find people who accept you, you will realize those idiots are missing out big time. You're a lovely person and that's what matters!
     
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
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