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how can i let it all go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KatyKate, Oct 15, 2010.

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  1. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    its 7.46am and i've hardly slept...cried so many tears and still the pain won't go away.
    feel so worthless and alone....tho I know i'm not, but the last 4 months have been hell and I can't let go of what has happened.
    Why would someone...set out to destroy me, when all I was doing was my job and supporting them...to give them a better life...I will never understand...how can another human being cause so much suffering to another, another who cared about that person, their life and their wellbeing.
    I'll never get over what has happened..it will live with me forever, and I want it to go away.
    How do I start again...when because of that person...I have now lost my job...which gave me a real reason to live...how can that person carry on living their life without shame, and regret for what they have done to me.
    The pills don't work anymore...I just want to run away...but where to, because the pain will only follow...so whats the answer...I wish I had died in August...i tried but failed and now I live with this demon inside my head day in day out...I want to scream to let it all out, I want someone to share the pain..but no-one will ever know the pain i'm feeling :cry2:
  2. Concave

    Concave Active Member

    I can understand this pain you are feeling. :( Last thing I heard from my ex (well didn't even hear it... was a text) "Life sucks, People Die. Wah" I thought it was pretty brutal seeing how she knew I've dealt w/ suicide/ depression, signifigant others passing away and what not. But I just gotta take it all in stride. My ex (Cara) was everything to me. I still don't think I'll ever find another like her, but we must keep going. Our life is too important to put on another. Fuck em'! Its hard, but we just gotta keep on living for ourselves , and forget about others who are too disillussioned to realize us for the bright shining stars that we are. I know I don't even believe that all the time; but its true.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi K...it seems this person is trouble and you are caught in his problems...it is difficult to understand someone like that since most of us are so different...I had something similar happen lately...took someone into my home, bought him many things and gave him a good life only to have his family go against and abandon me...it surely hurts! Please know there are other people who do care and that, because one person was so disordered does not mean all ppl are like that...big hugs, J
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