How can I speak out?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheBLA, Jul 10, 2007.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Its absolutely fricking ridiculous. I've said this many times and am saying it again, I've been here so long and haven't told anyone here or really anyone else offline exactly what makes me depressed and suicidal. I'm pretty sure I know why and my reasons are "good", but I feel so hesitant, ashamed to tell anyone else. All I can give are subtle clues and I'm not teasing, I'm not playing a game, I just can't give the details. Maybe because I'm so messed up and inferior compared to all of you, lacking the basic skills and haven't done anything with my life, thats the basics but I can't get into the juicy details.

    And there's no way I can get rid of my depression and such if I can't open up and let it out. But then I also feel that I am already so messed up that I can't ever be normal and get rid of my depression. There's so many people here willing to listen to me in chat, PMs, etc. They will listen but I cannot talk. And then I don't even know if it is worth talking or worth getting help but maybe that is the depression controlling my mind? I havent been raised properly and done the normal stuff everyone else has so I will never have a normal life so whats the point of living I guess?

    How can I open up? Damn. :unsure:
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Maybe you need to get to know the person before you can talk to them? I know some people feel they can't say much about themselves until they know something about the people listening... :hug:
  3. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    I accept your challenge nkrukato. You gotta be a real loser when someone you love and trust poisons your dinners, but things are going to change, I can feel it.
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member


    I haven't been here long and still I haven't told anyone on here my major problem. I to feel embarrased about it but also I feel that it will scar others away but at the same time not talking about it has lead me to depression.

    It seems like you do want to talk about it. I for one won't judge you whatever it is you say. I hope you are able to talk about it soon. I'm sure no one will treat you any different.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Nkrukato, a question for you. Can you write out everything you would like to say without the intent of sharing it with anyone? It may not be the fact that you can't share it with people here, it may have more to do with when it is down in writing it sometimes makes it more real. I have problems writng things out as well. I don't want to face them particularly and once they are on paper it is as if I have no choice. And then to share it with someone? That can be frightening. Try writing it out on a word document and password protect it. Then when you get up the courage, copy-paste it to the forum. Maybe that will work. It may not for you, but it's worth a shot anyway.

    You are not any more messed up or inferior than the rest of us are. I would say we are all equal in that we all have difficulties in some area and depression simply fuels the fire. It is time to stop beating yourself up all the time. I believe you to be a good person. You have a great sense of humor. Take care and know I am here if you decide you are able to speak out. :hug:
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    No one can force you to speak out. it has to be your own choice. and it isn't easy either. It kind of takes practice in a way. I agree with Corrina's idea - its a good one. I do the same sometimes as well. Take care.

  7. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    I can never ask for help either.
  8. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    GL, that hits me home. I have problems expressing my thoughts . Many of them got stuck in my mind & unable to release them. Playing a sport is releasing but still there is a need to get it out or vomit them in xtreeme. Maybe some thoughts are poison,whoo knows.
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