How can I stop being so sensitive?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by alixer, Dec 2, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. alixer

    alixer Active Member

    A few people have suggested I might have clinical depression. Whether I do or I don't, the problem persists that I am too sensitive. I've wanted to kill myself since I was 9 years old because everything is too painful. The consequence of that is that when something bad happens, it REALLY hurts me. I already tried to kill myself. My family doesn't help. My stepdad especially like to tear people down. He thinks his comments are jokes, and sometimes they are funny, but often times it just lowers my selfesteem. I've told him to stop attacking me verbally, whether it's a joke or not, but now he just makes fun of that.

    And like I said, when bad things happen, like a breakup, my world collapses ... ironically, often for women that deep down I don't really care about! IT'S LIKE MY EMOTIONS AND REASONING DON'T MATCH. How do I stop being so sensitive?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am the same way hun to dam sensitive feel to much pain and sadness The only way is by getting therapy i think hun to help you change your mind a bit help you deal with sadness better o kay
     
  3. alixer

    alixer Active Member

    I tried group therapy and it helped a little but nothing seismic. Individual therapy has always been pretty useless. Counselors never say anything! And the medication I've tried hasn't helped either making me less sensitive.
     
  4. BK_Jetsfan

    BK_Jetsfan Well-Known Member

    You sound like me (except the woman I do care about is making me feel like the world is collapsing). I wish I had an answer for you, but I simply don't. It's not very easy to turn off such strong emotions. The passion that makes us who we are also makes our pain far deeper and more deadly. It really sucks.
     
  5. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    It is hard to say how much should one be able to take before feeling hurt, and how hurt should one feel before reacting.

    I think what many people don't realize is that confidence isn't something people can be born with and something certain people just have. I think true confidence can only come much later in life and most people don't even know what it is.

    Till then we have ego. For me it used to be pure ego balance. If I get my ego well fed one remark wont bring me down too low. If my ego is low, one little thing becomes the final straw (I am not saying that's all there is, but in situations like getting hurt over something we don't even care about etc).
    And ego is a very fragile thing. We try to have a good idea of who we are but it doesn't seem like something easy to comprehend so we get identified based on the world outside and their perceptions and reactions.

    If their responses seem to make us different then the person we would want to be seen as, it can hurt terribly. Despite all the clever sayings about being who we are etc, we are hugely defined by our surroundings and it can hurt us to the point that we don't even have the ability to change, cause others perceptions keep us trapped. And while trapped, more and more perceive the same.

    However I am well aware the problem is much deeper then what I just wrote. Ill tell you what I do even though I don't know how healthy it is.

    I create a world inside my head where I make characters of myself. Im not split personality but it keeps me being myself while adjusting to situations. I can make a persona who is not taking anything seriously and use it when the occasion is right (or the rational persona etc) and then put it aside when it isn't. Doesn't work every time, but it can help. And then knowing that I have the ability to shut parts of me on and off gives me some coping method, sometimes changes the response of my surroundings at least to the point where I handle them better.

    If I am just being myself its this big contradictory unpredictable mess of things I assume we all are made off. But if I reduce myself to characters in bad situations I have more control, I can focus better, I can react the way I want then.
     
  6. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    I posted twice, don't know how to delete ...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2011
  7. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I'd like to know how to stop being sensitive too because I'm the same way. It's my biggest weakness. I've closed myself off and avoided doing a lot of things out of the fear of being hurt. When I fall, I fall hard.
     
  8. visage

    visage New Member

    @save me

    I echo your comments, I'm a typical cancer man, and find myself hyper sensitive. I find it so hard not to be so emotional. My feelings dictate my life.

    Damn its hard!
     
  9. visage

    visage New Member

    double post
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 6, 2011
  10. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    im sensitive too! but being sensitive just worsens your thought process and you begin to think irrationally. that's what stops me from being sensitive.
     
  11. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Alixer. ((hugs)) First, I very much relate to what you are saying. I grew up in a home where relentless physical and emotional abuse kept me filled with fear and anxiety, and at age 40, still very much struggle with the aftermath. It's completely ridiculous and unacceptable that your stepdad refuses to curb his mean-spirited "teasing" when it causes you so much emotional pain. The problem is not your sensitivity, it is your stepdad's INsensitivity. Do you have a decent relationship with your mom or another adult family member? Perhaps if you put your feelings down in writing, then read it to your mom/another adult family member (or give it to them in letter form) they will put their foot down and insist that he stop tormenting you. Your pain and suffering shouldn't be entertainment for anyone, much less a parent figure in your own home. Please continue to post and know that you are among friends, and this is very much a safe place. Sending hugs and friendship, and wishing you peace... :console:
     
  12. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    I have always wanted to be like those people who never care one bit about anything. It's a real blessing when nothing can affect you. I've literally locked myself up as I know I can't stand what the outside world will do to me. There is no place for the weak. The 'survival of the fittest' really applies here.
    Maybe there's no cure for this personality trait. I think the best you can do is to stay away from situations or people that can potentially upset you.
     
  13. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    remember those who fall are those who tried to climb. If you never try climbing you will never fall. So, try and if you get hurt, try again. Do not be too sensitive!!!!
     
  14. ufo29

    ufo29 New Member

    Ditto - while those people might sometimes be referred to as arrogant or over-selfconfident i'd love to be like this as well! Imagine how easy life would be! :biggrin:

    Currently I deal with being overly sensitive by trying to avoid as much situations as possible which might trigger that particular feeling I get when stuff goes wrong (feeling of hopelessness, being a loser,..). For situations I can't avoid (work, social events) i use anti-axiety drugs. Downside of these is that they are addictive and taking them generally makes me feel bad about myself too (because why oh why would any normal person need a tranquilizer for a family dinner?!).
    Also if I take them during the day I tend to fall asleep after the stress factor disappears (and I fall asleep on the couch at 8 PM - great stuff if you're in a relationship :p ).

    I suggest try to confide in someone that will listen to you. Like you I'm not understood at home - obviously there was a big panic and whatnot over my suicide attempt but 5 years down the road it seems to be ancient history and it's not spoken of. I in turn play along and pretend everything is fine because they are really emotionally unable to deal with it.
    Don't try to change your (step)parents - I had (have?) a lot of anger over that as well but I've been told numerous times they won't change. So instead I try to confide in a few close friends. Maybe that could help you.
     
  15. Just"That"Guy

    Just"That"Guy Active Member

    I feel the same way about it.. I guess there really isn't a place for the weak. I'm very sensitive and i find it tough to show it, so when i'm not mad or depressed on worse days i'm just very quiet. People can say the smallest things to me and it will wreck me, i think i've always been this way. When I was little people would comment about my front teeth being crooked (i was supposed to get braces years ago but my dad wouldn't get them) and it just destroyed me and made me never want to open my mouth. I think things like that are part of the reason I am the way I am, on top of the social phobia. The problem is, i feel like everyone is gonna upset me and i want to stay away from everyone. So it just really sucks.
     
  16. red ribbons

    red ribbons Well-Known Member

    You'd win the lottery if you had an answer for that! Nothing seems to help being sensitive. Maybe that's why we're suicidal.
     
  17. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I wish I knew the answer to this. I can pretty much cry at the drop of a hat and seem to take everything the wrong way. I hate feeling this way but I can't help it.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.