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How can I stop feeling?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Mar 31, 2016.

  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I just wish I knew what to do to stay safe. The more I care, the more I get hurt. If I could take a pill to rid myself of all emotions, I would likely do it. I don't care if living like a robot would be worse. I don't care that emotions are what makes us human. All that ever does is hurt me deeply. I am tired of being lied to, manipulated, called down, and treated like crap ever since I was a little kid. I'm just sick of it all. I want to numb myself and shut down and hide forever.
  2. ravens

    ravens Well-Known Member

    Heh, this posts concept is actually the inspiration for my username. However I must say the robot life is not a better life. I do think having too much empathy can be a problem. Perhaps there is a middle ground, you must also care about yourself and focus on doing things for you. We are stuck in our heads for the rest of our lives, might as well get along with that person!
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I always seem to feel too much and don't know how to have a healthy medium. I hurt too much and too easily and I just want it to stop, but don't know how.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Are you still in therapy? Finding a happy medium, a sort of balance, might be something you could talk over with your therapist if you're still able to see him.
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I do understand how you feel... but I think it would be a shame to totally lose all emotions... how will you ever be happy then?
    You deserve happiness, and it can be found, and it can be worth it. *hugs*
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I haven't been to my therapist since last year, but I need to go there again soon. I would like to be happy one day, but I am worried about being hurt. I know that is inevitable, but it has happened far too much and I can't deal with much more.
  7. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    You should hun *hugs*

    I wish none of us would have to be hurt. You don't deserve it, but in case it should happen wouldn't it be good to learn some coping mechanisms from your therapist so you can come out of it okay in the end?
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Yeah, I think that would help me. I just wish that I didn't get so upset if people treat me badly or if something bad happens. I feel like I should be immune to it now but it still really hurts.
  9. tillandsia

    tillandsia Member

    I definitely agree with your sentiments. I think that's what's so attractive about suicide: You get to just be done with it all and not have to care anymore about anything or anyone. You get to be selfish and not have to worry about the most trivial of things. You can just let go. The feeling of numbness was what I really appreciated when taking Prozac.

    Feelings are what I hate most about my anxiety, because I have to experience what seems like every single emotion over virtually everything. I would definitely give up laughter, hope, and happiness to just stop feeling the pressing weight of all these negative feelings all the time. I think that's what I love so much about sleep: I'm at peace for once (when I'm not dreaming) and I don't feel anymore.

    To stop rambling, maybe you are a Highly Sensitive Person (see Elaine Aron's book) like me. I discovered this trait after my counselor suggested it to me about a year ago and I read the book to realize that it just clicked. Of course my anxiety doesn't help, but for us HSPs, everything is magnified in how we experience and sensationalize it. Sometimes, this can mean that you feel like you're on the peak of Mt. Everest; but most other times, it means you are constantly on edge because you're sensitive to the tiniest nuances from others and affected by even the slightest glimmer of someone else's demons. No wonder all genius literary figures died young - if they felt so deeply and battled with their own personal issues. I'm so mentally exhausted with myself but I hear your pain.
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I think that might be the case for me. Not only do I experience emotions more strongly, I can feel others emotions too. I can feel their pain and happiness like my own. It can be overwhelming at times. I am sorry to hear you feel the same way too. I hope you are able to find a way to ease the feelings.
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Just wanted to leave you some (((hugs))) and let you know that you are not alone hun. We are here for you, keep talking to us, we care about you a lot :)
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  12. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Aww thanks, I care about you guys a lot too :) Thank you for being here for me through everything, I appreciate it more than I can say.