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How Can I Stop My Mom?

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When I was little my mom would hit me and now that I'm older she verbally abuses me and says things about me to others so they think I'm bad and insult me too, what can I do to make her stop?


Well-Known Member

I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. It's never nice when someone picks on us, but it's particularly horrible when that someone is our mum. We feel that we should be able to rely on them to love us unconditionally and be there no matter what.

Unfortunately, even (in fact, perhaps especially! :tongue:) mothers aren't perfect. It's hard to come to terms with, but that's just the way it is.

Your mum's treatment of you is not okay, or excusable, or appropriate. However, it may help you to try to work out why your mum does treat you this way.

All behaviour makes sense in context.

Again, this does not make it right. But it might be easier for you to cope if you can work out why she does it. Did she have trouble with her mum when she was growing up? Is she having a bad time at work or in a relationship and taking it out on you? Was she hit when she was a child? Does she genuinely feel that you have done something terrible? Is she keeping you at a distance because she feels guilty about something she's done, or because she's scared that if she lets herself show that she loves you then you'll reject her?

Keep talking to us about what's going on for you at the moment. We all want to help you, and a lot of us can really identify with what you're going through.


When her parents died at 8 she and her sisters moved in with an abusive couple, they hit them and the girls boyfriend raped my aunt once.

Now that I think about it, most of the stuff she said happened to her she is doing to me :sad:


Well-Known Member
People have a tendency to do that. It's not as unusual as you might think.

I'm really sorry that you are having such a difficult time right now :sad:. How does your mum justify her behaviour? Or doesn't she even try?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

How old are you sweetheart?

Keep talking on here about how you feel. Don't suffer alone. :arms:

:hug: :hug:


SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Have you talked to your mom about this? Told her that all the bad things that happened to her are things she's now doing to you? Verbal/emotional abuse is abuse as much as physical abuse. I wish I could make her stop. Is there any close adult friend of your family's that you could talk to? A teacher at school? Someone HAS TO make her understand that what she's doing to you isn't right!

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