I've been like this most of the day. My thoughts are racing, the urge is so strong to self harm. Spent a lot of my day trying to keep busy, mostly housework. Things that should have exhausted me enough that I could sleep. But it's nearly 4am and I'm really struggling to keep it together. I keep crying and even relaxing music isn't helping. I don't want to end up cutting but the urge is strong. Hard to explain how it takes over. I'm almost at the point now of getting numb to it again and that is the most dangerous time for me My paranoia has been getting worse today to and that Isn't helping. Just can't keep going on tonight like this.