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How can I stop saying "Why me?"

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Well-Known Member
One of the bad habits I have noticed in myself while dealing with my bout against depression and weird addiction is that I often engage in self-talk and say, "Why me? Why does it have to be me who goes through all this when all I ask for is a life with manageable obstacles and bearable challenges? I never expected care-free, worry-free, perfect life. Why is my life so beyond unendurable?"
I am sorry if I sound like a whiner by saying such things but it comes from so much frustrations, feelings of exhaustions that have been built up inside me for a long time. Some people told me everyone is given a different card to deal with, some good, some bad. Although my card is not as bad as being paralyzed or living with leukemia, it is very painful, inside. It is very mentally draining, inside. Only people think I am totally fine because I look fine outside.
How can I stop engaging in self-talk mode of "Why me?" I know it won't get me anywhere. If anything, it will get me more depressed. But I have hard time stop engaging in such thoughts.
Could you offer me any advice on how I change my thinking pattern into constructive, positive way?


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
A difficult one to be honest. If I get into "why me" mode I always think well why not me!!

Sometimes it snaps me out of it and sometimes it makes me feel even worse, but in general I kind of use the "well why not me" as a pull me up and stop feeling sorry for self.

Trouble with feeling depressed is you are in a mind set of "why me" everyone gets it hun, it's part and parcel of depression; so don't beat yourself up over it and don't go down the road of others have worse problems either. No one can gauge anothers' suffering.
Thats a tough question to get out of...I tend to do that alot and it's only self destructive so i agree with Dev...ask why not me instead ask something pos. instead of neg. and i know at times it's tough but at least try.

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