It's been 8 years...8 years and counting. I thought I was over feeling depressed and suicidal once I graduated high school. I've been successful in my career goals -already have a college degree with honors, interned/worked in well-known companies/government agencies and yet I feel the stress pulling me. I feel guilt for feeling this way but it's always hurt my family somehow so I've tried to amend it by doing all these great things. It' s like I'm living for them at times, to make them proud and yet I know I'm not myself. It might be the stress of post-graduation/trying to find a job but I feel like I should do more, be more to help my family. I know I'm still young and there's a lot I need to learn but I keep taking a few steps back, willing to let it go and be selfish for once and end this. I know success comes at a price-I have friends but none who can understand me, potential romantic relationships that never come to fruition and a low self-esteem so down that it feels like I should be dumped in a cesspool because of my appearance and character. I fight but have no idea why and at times I feel like my existence should be erased. I've stumbled onto this website on several occasions with the intention of getting help with this issue but I am too ashamed to come forward and ask for help. I'm just asking once for some advice from a fellow peer who might understand where I come from even if it's just a pep talk. Thank you.