How can I talk to my husband about something hes doing wrong?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, Sep 4, 2009.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I know I have posted a lot about problems with my marriage. Well things are going pretty good. Im learning about him all over again and hes learning about me all over again. I realised today that I keep accusing him of lieing to me when hes not. Hes just really bad with directions, really bad with managing money, and just flat out forgetful. So some of the things he does like come back without a few items on the shopping list I gave him and flat broke without a explaination. I realised today that hes just a forgetful idiot. He ended up dropping the change from the stores into a cup holder in the car. So when he got the last thing on my list he didnt have enough to get all five packets that I asked him to. Unable to come up with a excuse I flew off the handle. Getting mad and walking off to calm down he later tells me 'Oh by the way hun I had to get some change from the car to pay for postage on the stuff you asked me to mail yesterday, the stamps on them werent enough'. I thought to myself that there was no change in the car because I used it the other day. Bingo - my lost clothes hanger money was found! I felt so bad and I dont know how to talk to him about it.. How can I tell him Im sorry and him actually make note of it? Also my main reason for posting here..How can I get him to realize hes ruff? Like when he helps our son clean off his face, brush his teeth, whatever. The boy complains to me Dads to ruff but doesnt say anything to his Dad about it. I do but he doesnt understand hes to ruff. Hes stout as a ox and always uses much more force then he thinks he does..Its causing a lot of arugments..How can I talk to him to make him understand and try to be more careful?
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Do you think your son would tell him that he's being too rough? It might sink in better if he hears it from him instead of just from you. Maybe talk to your son and encourage him to let his dad know.
     
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Oh hes told him a dozen times. I guess he just got tired of doing it so instead he tells me..My husband has suffered many TBI (brain injuries) over the years from accidents on his numerous jobs. So hes ruffer then he means to be..He doesnt always realize hes being rude or hurtful when he says something thats well rude or hurtful...Its also effected his memory... I just thought if he would actually listen and make a effort to be more careful he would keep from hurting other peoples feelings.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Try getting your son to write his dad a note about being more gentle not so rough Get him to leave the note on his dads pillow maybe if he reads the words they will stay in his brain longer. Words sometimes from a child help an adult really see the harm that is being done.
     
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