how can i ...

support others when i am dying inside for a million reasons, i just want to scream but then i see others in pain and feel guilty. i am in constant turmoil tonight, i really want to cut but deeper than usual, i am losing control and i dont know why and its scary..its all new to me, is it the meds, is it lack of sleep, is it just the fact that i am losing my mind...i hide how i feel from my friends now, i live in my head ..i dont like the real world anymore and its not getting any easier atm...why...how can you suddenly lose it...or did i not notice before...sorry...just confused atm...

 

Don't be sorry. What you feel is legitimate and you have every right to feel that way. Everyone deserves to feel loved, accepted. And you sometimes have to make sure you are able to take care of yourself, before you can help anyone else. I also feel very guilty when I can't help people. But there is a balance between making sure we are stable and being able to help others. We also can't compare ourselves to each other. Something that affects you may not affect another. Or it may affect them differently. We are all different.

Maybe you can get out some markers or colored pencils, and just start drawing. It doesn't have to look like the most awesome picture in the world. It can just be squiggles of color! Just an idea to help get those feelings out, and maybe on paper.

 

We cannot help others so much unless we are in good spirits ourselves - I mean, you might help family no matter what, if a parent got sick or something even depression can kind of alleviate itself as a crisis might bring motivation and a need to do some duty of care to loved ones.

In general terms, we help others more when we feel happy or content in our own minds.

Feeling guilty about not helping others is depression in full effect - doing what it normally does and trying to make us feel bad about things. I hate feeling like I might have done more to help but I know that only so much is possible. I pick and choose who I help out - but I'd help a stranger if possible.

you have to be charitable to yourself - allow yourself a space to recharge and not worry about the world.

Not sure what meds you are on - but sure, meds can go wrong and make you worse! In that case go to your doctors on Tuesday and get them changed maybe. Some meds make you feel worse before you get better, in which case maybe its just a case of wake up, survive go back to bed for a week or two until the meds settle.

In the meantime, try to do something creative, - like Dragon Blood says - painting can be a great thing. I have a graphic tablet that I'll be using a lot to create stuff.

Hang on in Ice Queen, keep talking to us here as your a good person and even think of others when you are so down yourself. Always a sign of a good soul. that said, good souls can become exhausted and feel isolated from friends and family. Just bear in mind depression CAN be overcome and it might be a case of just balancing the right dosage for you rather than letting doctors move you up in high does. 5 mg increments should be used in SSRIs - you ought to aim to take just enough to be able to make a subtle difference. All we need is that small help in which we don't have to deal with the torrent of negative thoughts that can be the defining bad moment in depression.

Hope you get better soon - I'm sure you will but please keep a diary so you know how things are going and how your mood might be.

My best wishes and prayers. I'm sure you'll look back at this one day and be able to say your glad your still alive. Getting over or getting along with depression does give you an advantage in that you become pretty good at assessing other people's moods.

Of course, nobody would wish to have it but nonetheless you can learn a lot from it also.

You survive it and you can only become a stronger person for it.

Good luck either way!