I just don't understand this... In theory, I should be a very happy person. My life is finally looking up. I've been off meds since November...I got out of the hospital after an 8 month stay...I got a fun new job..I have a boyfriend that I love & adore...I'm going back to college in September...I have a nephew that I love... So... Why do I want to kill myself still?? This is everything I've always wanted...so what's the problem? I must be the most selfish person alive. I've had my share of bad things happen to me...but that was the past. It's now that matters...& now is "good". what's going on here?