How can you go on without a reason.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HomerSimpson, Mar 25, 2008.

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  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    When you have no one and nothing in life, when literally every second of your life is nothing but worry, self doubt, self hate, when you cannot find a purpose in life, and when you are all alone, please tell me how to go on living.
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I just keep on going, one day at a time. Sometimes it's mechanical - I'm not thinking, just doing, going thru the motions. Sometimes it's just cause of the hurt I would cause my family and good friends. Sometimes it's just because I don't want to give up all hope - even when it seems hopeless. I keep hoping for a miracle. :unsure:But for whatever reason, I just keep trudging on.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    one foot in front of the other...

    start with some small goals and build... build activity, getting out of the house, knowledge about depression and treatment, build compassion. build forgiveness.

    but like i say, small steps first. for me, they were get dressed, stay awake during the day (i was sleeping 20 out of 24 hours because i was in so much emotional pain), walk outside for 5 minutes, then 10, then 20....

    i did the small stuff, trusting that i could work on the 'big' stuff later, once i was stronger, the 'big' stuff being all that self-hatred and finding my 'purpose' or path...

    so far it's working

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2008
  4. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    Because it's not easy to kill myself quickly and painlessly, but I'm getting over that. Right now, I'd say what keeps me living is that I'm trying to obtain a rope to hang myself with, but I don't have one yet.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You still have yourself and that is something that no one can ever take away. Never give up.
  6. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    But when you are miserable all the time, and have self hate you really dont have yourself. It just seems having the attitude never give up, and never lose hope just in the end results in more let downs and even worse more pain. Thank you all for responding.
  7. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same situation. I try to numb myself with TV and the internet. The more healthy things I do are reading and listening to music.
  8. Closed01

    Closed01 Member

    Keep posting here. Even if you don't really feel better, it's still a start. You have a lot of people here that want to encourage and help you...

    Try writing. Even if it's a stream of nonsense, it's something, and somehow it helps (me, at least). I agree that setting little goals is useful. It gives you something to feel a little better about.

    As cheezy and cliched as this sounds, if you keep posting here you won't be alone. You can PM me whenever you want, I'll answer as soon as I can.

    Also, if you don't have a counsellor or a therapist, it might be a good time to get one. Sometimes joining some sort of group helps. It depends on the person, but having others IN FRONT OF YOU who are going through similar things is reassuring... Plus you might learn a skill that helps you deal.:hug:

    Lastly, find something you care about. A book, a movie, a person, an idea, a sport, whatever. And stick to it. In the case of movies or books, become obsessed with it. You know when people get incredibly excited about a new book in a series, or REM comes out with a new cd? Try to be that person. when It sounds wierd, but you're distracting yourself, which is good. Take up a hobby. I know it's much, much easier said than done. But just keep this in mind for one day when you feel you can tackle it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2008
  9. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    As far as I know, there is only way: you have to change your frame of mind. I don't believe in evil, but I believe in suffering, and all the suffering in this world is self-perpetuating -- whether it's caused by violence, corruption, or your own mind -- the suffering feeds on itself. No matter what catalyzes the suffering, the results of it reproduces the cause. The only way out is to break the cycle of your thinking.
    What is your life like now, if you don't mind me asking? Why do you hate yourself, doubt yourself?
  10. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I agree with what bleach said. I think the answer is you can't, at least not happily, something has to change. I wish I could spin you an inspirational, literary masterpiece but even if I could, your decisions are far more important than anything anyone can say to you. I find that getting things done helps me feel better about myself, it makes me feel more confident and capable. Maybe you could try making a list of things you would like to do and working on them one at a time, it won't change your whole life but like that Chinese proverb says, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
  11. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I don't know how bad it really is for you. For me, I have almost nothing left. Fortunately, I do have some support structure left. I'm not homeless on the streets. I do still have family but they don't understand me so I feel pretty much alone.

    How do you go on? I don't know. You just do. It's not pleasant but if you at least have a place to live and a way to support yourself (food, etc), then at least you don't have that pushing you to make rash choices.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 26, 2008
  12. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    The secret to not having too many letdowns is not to hope for too much. High expectations will always set you up for a big letdown.

    Set realistic goals. But before you can do that, you have to know what's realistic so you have to work on knowing the difference between a fantasy and reality. Don't expect miracles. And then, when you accomplish something, you'll feel like you accomplished something. And if you accomplish more than you expected, you'll feel even better than you expected to. Good surprises are better than bad ones, right?

    Society sets us up for disappointment by instructing everyone to set their expectations for life in the clouds. It makes us think that's where life is supposed to take us. Realistically, this just isn't always going to happen. You might not meet that special person for 20 years. You might be a senior citizen by the time you meet someone. Those who have more success earlier in life are just lucky. That's all. They could be you and you could be them. You probably aren't doing anything really wrong.
  13. The Loner

    The Loner Active Member

    Sometimes you have to make a reason to live, my reason for going on is to try be the son my parents wanted. I really don't want to be here either .. but what can you do. :-o
  14. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Very commendable. I've thought about that. One of the things that really gets me down is knowing how much my mother loves me and how much she wanted me to do something with my life. Even though I'm a complete mess and disappointment to her, she still loves me. I wish so much that I could be what she wanted. As badly as I want to, wanting and doing are different things. :sad:
  15. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    HomerSimpson, how can you say there is not a reason to go on living when you were created for a reason, even though you might not know exactly what that reason is? Sometimes it takes pain to recognize the reason. There is a reason to everything under the sun, even if you don't see it immediately. You just have to find it. God does not create what does not have a purpose. YOU HAVE A PURPOSE. I hope you recognize that your entire goal is finding that purpose. God doesn't hand out exactly what your purpose is. He wants you to find it, but remember one thing only. Your purpose is important, and it can be identified with a little investigation. It is up to you to recognize it, but god is will not hide it from you when you take a little time to realize that your purpose has been given to you from birth. Please don't give up looking for it, as if it's not there. It is, and it's waiting for you.
  16. BOLIAO

    BOLIAO Guest

    I am exactly like you except that I have an additional issue. No motivation / interest in ANYTHING at all and all these makes my life unbearable every second, minute, every hour of every day. So far, it's been 5 months like this. I don't know how long can I 'last'.
  17. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I cant tell you. You tell me if you find the answer.
  18. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    A miracle?
  19. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    No coment. :(
  20. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I will reply to this post as it was written to me.......

    OK. Lets say that there is god and Im here with a purpose. You are saying that I have to look for it. But, how can you know that I havent already done everything in my life, and have nothing to do more. And maybe I havent find out what my purpose is, but maybe I have reach it without knowing. And now all I have to do is .... To die.... And start another life, another birth, and to look the purpose of my next life.
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