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how can you tell if your the problem in a friendship or not?

Twizzler

Well-Known Member
#1
I feel like no matter what I do, No one ever wants to spend time with me and whenever they constantly leave me out and ignore and make me feel used, i call them out on it and now i don't know whether I'm too much and make them feel bad for saying how i feel but then later apologize for saying that. i just feel like im nothing, a loser, a loner, everyone just uses me and then forgets my existence but then when i went into suicidal mode they reach out, most dont reach out, and honestly i wish i could just end my life because no one needs me or appreciates me and no one would miss me if i died anyways, i dont even know if any of the people that i know would show up to my funeral. i always feel like the bad guy just because of how they treat me and im tired of being used and ignored like i dont exist in the world and its just sad.
 
#2
I dont see whats wrong with telling them you feel hurt by their behaviour, I think its ok as long as its done in a way that isnt too blunt or accusational aka not like "you left me out youre a piece of shit" kinda tone, cause we never know peoples reasons, and it might not be with bad intent if you know what I mean, could just be pure thoughtlessness or being distracted with their own problems etc. I get you though, I've struggled with the same. people should know if they make you feel bad, but also its hard cause we dont want to argue or make them feel bad either. I've done this and most times was glad I did as it cleared the air and things were explained to me and I realize I just misinterpreted things etc and so telling them put my mind at rest and gave me clarity, however they got annoyed with me eventually and made out its just me being too sensitive for the most part and that they dont want to know if they make me feel bad so now I'm back to keeping everything to myself and also questioning whether its been me the whole time, aka just me being too sensitive rather than others being lousy. I guess the real answer is: there is no right or wrong answer, everyone's different, some people will think you're the problem, other people will think other people are the problem. it ends up getting too deep, cause really technically nobody's the problem is just differences in likes and dislikes and personalities etc, or technically everyone is the problem and partly to blame cause theres always things we dont like about each other *dunno2

you sound like a good person who doesnt mean any harm though, so from that alone I dont think you're a problem to people. *hug
 
#3
The only close relationships that I have right now are online. I'm actually ok with that.

I'm not saying you should or even necessarily could do the same, but rather, it's in principle possible to be ok without a lot of close IRL relationships.
 

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