How can you tell?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Corieh Infected, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Like.. How can you tell if you really really like, or even love someone, like in a romantic way?

    I mean, I have this friend, and I've never thought about doing stuff with him, or being in a relationship with him, or any of that, I always considered him one of my great friends, someone I could call when I was down and stuff.

    And then he told me he was writing stories for this girl..

    And she sent him some illicit pictures, which you can kinda figure he masturbated over, since he masturbates..

    And he was calling it a relationship..

    Ohfuck, I thought I was going to stop breathing..

    I couldn't take it, I went silent, I couldn't even force myself to pretend it was okay.

    I honestly felt like someone went and stepped on my heart, squeezing all the life out of it.

    I still feel that exact way, and I haven't said a word since I hung up on him, since I know I'll start crying..

    But I just don't see how I can feel that way, when it's not romantic.. Or is it, and I'm not seeing it?
     
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    You like him a lot.
     
  3. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    ..I don't know! That's the craziest thing.
    I don't like, feel it.
    But when situations come up..
    It's crazy..
     
  4. brainstorm

    brainstorm Well-Known Member

    Hang on: what are you feeling?

    - Betrayal?
    - Disappointment?
    - Loss?

    Are you afraid he's going to grow apart from you to give more attention to her? But the kind of attention he is giving to her is not the kind you two had. You just may get less of it in the future, but the *kind* of relationship you have is not gonna change.

    Do you feel that the girl is beneath him, that he deserves better (like you)? uh oh!

    Do you feel slighted because he's calling "masturbating over illicit pictures" a relationship and feel what you too have should be a relationship too? Why are they "ilicit"? Sex is not illegal, unless one of them is underage. There's nothing wrong with nude photos, or with sex chat. They're just ways of crossing a distance and expressing an unfullfilled need.

    Again, what are you feeling? Cry or scream if it helps you to find out.
    Then ask "why".
     
  5. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Gah, but he's not suppose to be like that with other girls!!

    I mean, he's not suppose to with me either..

    I just feel like, betrayed, disappointed, and loss, all three of the things you name..

    It's crazy that I feel like this, but don't understand where it's coming from.

    It's so frustrating.. ><;

    I started crying last night when stuff came up again, and he doesn't understand why I go so quiet, but I'm terrified to tell him..

    I mean.. I'm younger than him, and this girl is more his age. What if he starts thinking of me as a stupid kid who isn't mature enough to talk to him, and he goes off to this girl?

    Ugh. >>; I feel.. Posessive?
     
  6. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member


    Romance is determined only by you.
     
  7. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I think if you never thought about doing anything romantic with him, and that you just talk to him on a friend level about random things or when you're down, then you are unfairly being hard on yourself when he mentions other women and you start feeling bad.

    I've got a good feeling that your friend will never begin to think of you as a "stupid kid" that is "too immature" to talk to him, especially if he went into the situation knowing about your age anyway.

    I don't think he would be that big of an asshole.
     
  8. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Yeah, well, he might be that big of an asshole, I don't know, and after recently talking to him, I just don't care..
     
  9. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry he made you feel the way you do, and I am sure he didn't mean it since he has no idea how you feel about him.
     
  10. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    Well, I am gay, aways have been, always will be, only it took me, like forever to come to terms with that.

    I'm not being funny but how old are you two guys ?

    When you are young, strange things happen, emontions get all mixed up for a while, it happens to everyone, not just you, some grow out of it, some grow into it, it's not a big deal, if you don't let it be a big deal.

    At the age of 15 I thought I might be gay, I liked other guys too much, but not really sexualy, at 17 I thought about guys more than I thought about girls, in that gap I fooled around with quite a few friends, most of which turned out to be straight, we were just young men, with new toys to play with ;-) it didn't really mean anything, its very common, something that some young guys do, a part of growing up.
     
  11. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Yeah, like.. I don't know.

    I'm fourteen, almost fifteen.

    And he's about twenty-two and a half.

    So it's kinda a decent sized age gap.

    But.. I've kinda given up on being his friend, ya' know?

    It's not like I'm really thinking of him romantically, then again, I don't know what I'm thinking.. All I know is every time he brings his 'girlfriend' up.. I feel, horrible..
     
  12. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    don't worry about it too much

    I'm 41 ! and my best mate ha just started seeing a new girlfriend, he's 21 ! and it still hurts at my age ! he's straight, I'm gay but we are still good mates, that hasn't changed, but obviously we just don't get to see each other as much, which is a shame, but I'm still happy for him, still look out for him, some people come and go, in and out of your life, it just happens, but true friends, never really go away, they keep on coming back.

    So I would try not to let it get you down, easier said than done, as for being gay or bi or what ever, give it time, it can take quite a while to work that one out and its not set in stone, no one is really 100% this or that, after 41 years of being a gay man, only a few months ago, I was tempted to have a relationship with a women, for the first time in like 20 years, that caught me completely off guard.

    Give it time, when you are ready, talk to him about it, if its really getting you down, I hate to say it, but mates, best mates, spending less time with you and more time with girlfriends, is just a part of growing up, but if he is truely a mate, he will still be around when you need him, that wont change
     
  13. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    It sounds like a lot of emotions are mixing up on your end of the relationship and that this friend of yours still doesn't know how you feel, or does know how you feel but doesn't show it because he doesn't think you want him to know. Giving up on the friendship seems like a harsh decision.
     
  14. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it might kinda be a harsh decision, but, I don't know.. Half of me thinks I should talk to him, and half of me wants him to bring it up.