I don't understand my feelings. I don't understand my thoughts. I'm not crazy, I'm just confused. I complain a lot. Everyone leaves me. I think my problems are stupid. Why do I hurt? I feel like a failure for allowing myself to feel so much pain, for idiotic reasons. I'm done complaining. It's time to put on a mask. Maybe then people won't leave me. I say these things, but I know my body won't allow my to pursue them. I guess I'll just have to continue isolating myself from the world. That way, no one will ever be able to hurt me. Why am I such a baby? Why am I so sensitive? I'm no longer living for myself. I'm living so that I won't hurt others. I'm too much of a chicken to kill myself. In that case, no one cares, because everyone knows I won't do it. I'm a fake. I'm a loser. I'm such a failure, that I fail at suicide, as my sister once told me. Urgh, here I talk about complaining too much, and I do it again. I'm a lost cause. How did it get to this point? How did it get to the point of absolute hopelessness?