How did I get here?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by whoaaxxsamm, Oct 15, 2010.

  1. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    I don't understand my feelings.
    I don't understand my thoughts.
    I'm not crazy, I'm just confused.

    I complain a lot.
    Everyone leaves me.

    I think my problems are stupid.
    Why do I hurt?
    I feel like a failure for allowing myself to feel so much pain, for idiotic reasons.

    I'm done complaining.
    It's time to put on a mask.
    Maybe then people won't leave me.
    I say these things, but I know my body won't allow my to pursue them.

    I guess I'll just have to continue isolating myself from the world.
    That way, no one will ever be able to hurt me.

    Why am I such a baby?
    Why am I so sensitive?

    I'm no longer living for myself.
    I'm living so that I won't hurt others.
    I'm too much of a chicken to kill myself.

    In that case, no one cares, because everyone knows I won't do it.
    I'm a fake.
    I'm a loser.
    I'm such a failure, that I fail at suicide, as my sister once told me.

    Urgh, here I talk about complaining too much, and I do it again.
    I'm a lost cause.
    How did it get to this point?
    How did it get to the point of absolute hopelessness?
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I've talked to you quite a few time, so allow me to say my 2 cents. You're a bright girl, but just lack confidence and self esteem. And the result is you overthinking things. Hope you get better Sam. Courage Sam! Reste positive!
  3. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member