I never thought I would join a forum, let alone one for suicide. But here I am, extremely suicidal and in desperate need to be understood, and so I joined in the off chance hope that I could find an outlet for my pain; one that wouldn't end my life. Because the truth is, I don't really want to die. I just CAN'T live with this level of depression and hopelessness. It's excrutiating. So here is my first post. I'm not really sure what to say except that I'm scared. I'm scared to be talking and posting about suicide. I'm scared to die, but even more scared to live in this miserable state. Please help.