How did it become so bad.. (may be triggering)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by akalee_786, Sep 23, 2012.

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  1. akalee_786

    akalee_786 Banned Member

    When you start off cutting it doesn't seem so bad you say to yourself just this once.. Till u feel the release.. It started off with scratches it started off not seeing as much blood... Till one day u see enough blood ones again you see the pain drip off.. I never wanted to start this I never wanted to feel the need of doing something that I know can hurt me I kept telling myself just today just today it'll be ok.. I realized I said that everyday and 2 years past maybe my words won't be heard maybe they mean nothing to some of you but one day you all will come to the stage where your scars make you ashamed it's not a thing to start because it never ends my scars make my physically sick I hate seeing them but you can never hide from them they'll always be there a constant reminder of how weak I am I will never be more ashamed of who I become.. Worse thing about it I know how I feel after I do it I know I don't want to do it but I need to do it the longer I leave it the Worser it becomes I thought I would stop this shit but clearly getting worse it's shameful I'd do anything to change who and what I am.. I make myself feel sick I hate myself more and more the fact im hurting people doesn't help I should never have let people come in my life to be hurt cutting seems the only way to get a release. I wish I had someone to tell me not to do it Wish someone told me how I'd feel after all this time I wish...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    There is help and there is hope hun My daughter stopped cutting now has not done it for a year she got help hun therapy so can you This coping skill canbe replaced with a more positive one it can hugs
     
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