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How did this happen?

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Banned Member
Im pretty fucked up right now. I really dont feel like going into the details so the main parts are that I have quite a few unresolved issues from the marine corps, 2 days ago my girlfriend of 7 years told me she has no feelings for me, 1 day ago she told me she is going to try things with my best friend and I live with them bolth. I dont know how to handle this and Im scared that I cant.
I made therapy appointments with the VA and have called the crisis hotline a few times today. I dont think they help much for me outside of the fact that I am talking to someone with the unified goal of keeping me alive and a bit of time passes.
To deal with this I have turned to a masochistic lifestly in the sense of physical pain. In that molment when im in sevear pain its all I can think about. The rest dissapears. I need that right now.
Im trying to be proactive and positive in everything. Hence joining this community I guess. Its just really hard seeing them together. Seeing them lock themselves in the beadroom. Im not sure what I will do when I hear them fucking. I know it will happen soon enough though and im dreading it. I dont have a support system out side of the two of them and I cant really talk to them now.
Not too sure where I am going with this. I would appreciate constructive critisism outside of "Things will get better" though.


Well-Known Member
well your ex doesnt sound like she is taking your feelings into consideration at all...is there any way you can move out and not be around them anymore. your best friend doesnt sound like hes thinking about your feelings either...it might be beneficial to leave the situation, at least until you are comfortable being around them.

have you talked to either of them about how you are feeling? maybe they are just oblivious to how their relationship will hurt you.


Well-Known Member
have they no understanding of what they are doing to you? :-o

it would probably help to move out, else you may do something you later regret. get out of the situation and take it bit by bit from there.


Banned Member
Im not sure what to think. I have known them bolth for so long and they mean a lot to me. We have talked a little. They bolth seem to feel pretty fucked up now. Im going to try some kind of group therapy with them at some point to see if I can ever get to a place of trusting either of them again.

As far as moving out Im kinda stuck. Im about to start a job and have to float what money I do have until then. I am checking myself into an institution in a few hours so I should have a little time away. Hopefully it will help me get my head straight. Or atleast to a point that Im not randomly breaking down all day.

I feel a lot of self hatered over it all. Im not sure how Im blameing my self over this but I think its a big problem with my thought process right now. A part of me feels like If I wasnt in the picture they could bolh be happy and I really do want them to be happy.
I think it is very unselfish of you to want them to be happy, but I think they are being very selfish

I think it would be reasonable to talk to one or both of them. If you and your ex were together for 7 years, it's not respectful of her to get together with someone else in just a couple of days. she should be willing to spend a little time by herself before she gets together with someone else

your friend isn't being very considerate of you either

it's especially bad because you are in a crisis right now.

there are some people that are worth having in your life, and there are others that you would be better off not knowing.

it could be that you want to maintain a relationship with them either because you really value them, or because you need to have them in your life at least temporarily. breaking off your relationship with them sounds reasonable though, if that is what you want. getting mad at them also sounds reasonable

I hope that you can get through this
My god Craig you poor thing. Your best friend sounds like a piece of shit doing that to you ESP when you all live together. And the ex girlfriend sounds like a ...... I'd be kicking them out of your life and starting off fresh. It's hard to step away from the bullshit and people that are no longer good for you but you need to do it.

I'm so glad that your seeking help that's awesome :) hang in there matey!
Move out, move out, move out >-> do not leave this to chance and wait and see. it hurts enough now, and the confusion, anger, and all the other flood of emotions will not be held back or dealt with proper if you stay.

something simliar happened to me. i vanished to my friends house for a week with little contact with the girl.

you dont need to deal with this, regardless if things will be better. it wasnt your fault (it never will be).

you are a marine. you can do this.

be strong. (and well done for what you are doing for yourself <3)
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