I'm basically older than my classmates for a year or two; I feel so stupid, dumb, and embarrassed that I'm older than everyone. I'm currently stuck at 8th grade and I'm supposed to be in my freshmen year but due to some circumstances I missed an entire school year. I feel so depressed and at times I find myself cutting my wrists and thighs and I feel like dying for the days are keep on dragging on and on; and I feel like no matter what I do I'm still stupid and a failure. No amount of achievement would make me happy as I was an A+ student at most of my school life but now it's all gone. I feel so dumb and I feel like I should know better because I'm older than everyone. I'm so embarrassed that my former classmates and friends are a year ahead of me even though some of them take their studies for granted and have failing grades while here I am, dying to be in their place. The gods witnessed how I tried everything I could to catch up but it just wasn't enough. How do I love myself again? I'm so tired of trying and even breathing.