How Do I Accept The Cold Reality?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ColdHeart, May 16, 2016.

  1. ColdHeart

    ColdHeart New Member

    I'm basically older than my classmates for a year or two; I feel so stupid, dumb, and embarrassed that I'm older than everyone. I'm currently stuck at 8th grade and I'm supposed to be in my freshmen year but due to some circumstances I missed an entire school year. I feel so depressed and at times I find myself cutting my wrists and thighs and I feel like dying for the days are keep on dragging on and on; and I feel like no matter what I do I'm still stupid and a failure.

    No amount of achievement would make me happy as I was an A+ student at most of my school life but now it's all gone. I feel so dumb and I feel like I should know better because I'm older than everyone. I'm so embarrassed that my former classmates and friends are a year ahead of me even though some of them take their studies for granted and have failing grades while here I am, dying to be in their place. The gods witnessed how I tried everything I could to catch up but it just wasn't enough. How do I love myself again? I'm so tired of trying and even breathing.
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    You are not a failure. What ever the reasons behind you missing a year, that is as it is. It's one year. Does your classmates know that? Do they actually point it out? Or is it your own worry?

    Grades does not say anything about you as a person. I know grades are made out to be important in school, but honestly they often don't have anything to say about a persons level of intelligence. (I have a very high IQ but barely passed what passes for college here...)

    What do you like doing? What gives you joy? Do you have a hobby you are good at?
  3. Khvde

    Khvde Well-Known Member

    I lost two years too. I study medicine at university. I advice you not to worry about a year or two.
    I have adhd and thats why I lost two years. I am just saying anything can happen to anybody so dont worry about it just focus on moving on.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello there and welcome to the forum. I cannot give advice regarding schooling as I did not even finish high school but I can advise on ''giving up'' or ''packing it all in'', those are things you need to talk to a professional about. They are the people who will have dealt with this a hundred times over. Or go to your school counsellor or any type of therapy, please never,ever give up on yourself. You are worth more than this. Your life matters and I am sure you have people that love you. Do you have any close relatives you can chat with or is that a definite no? Good luck to you. I know the world is a very scary place but together we will get you through this.