How Do I Convince People I Am Okay With My Life?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Forgotten_Man, Nov 8, 2014.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I have hit another unusual thing that I cannot understand. So I was at my sister's wedding, quietly playing video games, when my stepbrother comes up and starts harping on me for quietly playing video games. I mean I was not bothering anyone, I was not in the way, I was sitting there sipping my water playing games. He spent at least an hour, of combined time, telling me to stop playing my game, to stop being so non-social, to go over and talk to a female. That would eventually evolve into flat out telling me that I am not happy and that I need to go try to meet people. Which slowly turned into my usual dispute with overly social people about how I am just fine staying home alone and playing video games and watching anime. Of course I do not waste much time with these disputes, once those disputes are recognized I slowly turn to shorter answers, one word answers, and then unintelligible sounds. That is what I do, so I am not wasting too much effort.

    Anyway, I want to understand why it is that everyone seems convinced that I am lying to them and/or myself? I mean really, what do I have to do to convince people that I am in fact just fine with the life that I am living? Is my word not good enough for some reason? What do I have to do to make people stop harping on me about not having any friends or not dating or anything like that? I want to convince them that I am just fine living alone with my cat.

    Is it even possible to do something like that? I am starting to think they only way to do something like that would be to stop interacting with those people. Though I could be wrong, I am not 100% sure. I do my best just to brush them off and ignore them, but that does not mean they are not annoying. I just need them to be convinced that I am just fine alone.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm slightly confused, are you pretending you're fine with your life or you are in fact fine with your life the way it is. I think the latter and your brother in law should respect your wishes that you do not want to go and talk to females, some people are totally fine being anti social and just enjoying their own company, it's not a crime. In my opinion he should have minded his own business and left you as you were....as for how to convince people you are fine, just tell them straight out that you are happy with what you're doing and he and others like him need to back off, judging by your post you were happy and having a good time even though you weren't very social but it's hard for them to understand too so lightly tell them to back off in a nice way. It is tough, I know all too well how it feels, you're not alone in this. Oh and about the last sentence in your post, yes you are totally fine by yourself, there are so many people that just enjoy their own company, it doesn't mean they are insane or anything etc.... everyone is different, you aren't harming anyone!
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    The other big problem I had was the fact that he kept on claiming to understand what I am going through. Just because he had been to rehab and stuff like that. I did tell him to back off, but only until I ditched him did he actually back off.
     
  4. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    I know it, right?, Tell your stepbro he doesn't know anything about you until he has walked a Mile in Your shoes, and even then he will only get a Glimpse of You. We never even were allowed to watch TV or anything when I was young, so I retreated into books, they were the world to me, You probably are like I was and there is nothing wrong with you even if we are not alike, You are able to state your case here, saying how you feel and how and why you like doing things your Way.

    Unfortunately for some people there are others who aren't happy unless they are in control or want others to do things their way, you will have to find some different ways of dealing with whichever personality type they are. Sounds Like Your stepbrother had a hard time getting the message in any case, I do hope you continue to stand up for yourself and your space.

    So Kewl, You have a Cat, awesome creatures. I love mine lol wow I didn't see that you had one and just like I had to go back in and edit this post, I would take a cat over 95% of the people in the world, some days I would take the cat over 100% lol I have always had a cat in my life. I have one that I bonded with when she was born, she is lying on the floor next to me, funny thing though someone spoiled her, she is 17 yrs old now but I do love her. I am an animal person but Cats and me well we mesh.
    Ciao and Meow
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 9, 2014
  5. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Hey, Get back to me sometime if you do want to talk. Cya! or Not!
     
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Forgotten Man. I'm sorry you had a run-in with your step brother.

    There are many different kinds of people in the world and their need for "socialization" and human companionship varies. If someone is happy doing something that doesn't hurt anyone, it should be enough for others to respect and not question or comment negatively. Sometimes more "socially inclined" people have a sincerely hard time understanding that someone can be satisfied with less company than they would want. "You need to meet people; you aren't happy" - that's just rude, imo. But I would hope that comments like those come from a more caring place than they sound. Such people generally do not understand that someone IS OK without lots of company. *shrugs*

    I hope you enjoy some quiet time with your games and your kitty! :)
     
  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Some people don't understand that some people are just fine being by themselves and don't have the drive to be a social butterfly. Those are time wasters worrying about other people and getting into business they have no business being involved in.

    Go play your video games and anime and ingore that pesky bro of yours. As long as you're content and satisfied with your life who cares.
     
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know I should not care about his opinion, but the problem is those individual being annoying. I mean really he hung out and badgered me for a whole hour. I know that they are just that way, but I need a way to get rid of this topic quickly. The only way I was able to get rid of him was by ditching him. While I am no stranger to that kind of thing... I do not like doing it because if the person finds me again I have to answer why I ditched them.

    Ah... doesn't hurt others... that might be something that he though. He thought that I was hurting myself by not doing it? Well that or maybe he felt that I am hurting others by not being a part of their life? Hmm no that does not sound right... I do not know, you would think he could just take my word.

    Well my step brother has it in his head that he has been worse off than me. He went through an addiction to OxyCotton and has gone through rehab and stuff. That is what he felt gave him the important tools needed to fix me. However, at the end of the day I believe that he just wanted a wing man and I was the only single male he knew at the wedding. Well that or he wanted to control me like you said. I think that he wants to be able to take credit for being the one who "fixed me" and got me back on the path to what is normal.

    I do agree, kitties are great, mine is so funny. She lots to sit on my leg. No matter how many times she falls off my leg whenever she really falls asleep. It has happened a lot recently, she gives me the same confused look after she falls off. Once she is gone I am going to follow her that is my plan. She is 17 as well but in excellent health. Every vet is surprised by how healthy she is. So I will have to suffer here for a while longer. Lucky for me the chances of me seeing my step brother again in that time frame are pretty minimal.
     
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    [​IMG] Originally Posted by Forgotten_man [​IMG]
    Ah... doesn't hurt others... that might be something that he though. He thought that I was hurting myself by not doing it? Well that or maybe he felt that I am hurting others by not being a part of their life? Hmm no that does not sound right... I do not know, you would think he could just take my word.




    Well, exactly, you weren't hurting anyone and he made a fuss and said you needed to socialize...Yes, you'd think he could take you at your word and just accept that you're happy enough. But some people think everyone wants/needs a whole lot of company/socialization because that's what they like.

    I'd say play with your cat and your video games and if you can, just forget about this step-brother incident.
     
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I will my poor kitty gets loved by me everyday and we annoy/love the crap out of each other.
     
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