How do I deal with the pain?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Øyvind, Jun 21, 2014.

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  1. Øyvind

    Øyvind Senior Member

    How do I deal with the many things that make me suicidal? How do I deal with being so different? How do I deal with not having anything to do with my life?

    I mean even when I feel better (and I do now), several times a day I'm thrown off and sometimes it last for days.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2014
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    The only way I can honestly answer how you deal with it, is how I dealt with it if that makes sense.

    How do I deal with the many things that make me suicidal?

    The hardest thing to cope with is multiple thoughts they consume and overwhelm you making it seem impossible to cope, I sometimes take a pragmatic approach to how I felt and why I was feeling it, dealing with one issue at a time being careful with my thoughts distracting myself where needed. This can be writing in here in your diary exploring why those things in your life make you suicidal, and what coping mechanisms you can put in place.

    How do I deal with being different?

    We are all different in our own unique ways, I used to not be able to relate to that couple walking down town on a Saturday, or my sister happy with her 5000000 children (okay only five), and not understand how they could be content wi what they had. But I found that actually this was my mental illness talking, that the content feeling comes from inside and once you look at that and work on you, that you find people you resonate with that you have a connection, and suddenly the world is a lot less dark.

    How do I deal with having nothing to do with my life?

    Only you can change that, I spent years in a shitty job lack of confidence stopping me progressing, so I worked on me worked hard, found things that interested me everything from art, music, walking I'm the woods, SF and I used those things to make work better. Because working meant I had the means the money to open more doors, and get to where I wanted to be in a different city. I know from your diary you struggle with the prospect of going to work, so find what interests you and go for it, what do you have to lose? At least you can say you tried, and no one can fault you for that.

    I realise these aren't the answers you seek, mere rambles of my own experiences but I hope they give you something if anything a little bit of hope.

    Take it easy on you

  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Embrace your difference Oyvind, and find out more about you - ways to do this are through diagnostics like Myers Briggs Type Indicator, the Enneagram, Strengths Finder etc. This will give you more appreciation for the good that is within you and help you to understand your place in the cosmos better. It will also give you something to do with your life - realising you are on a journey that can turn around from depressed to joyous once we discover the key :)
  4. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    I once said to my sister and mother who both called me 'weird' that I embrace my weirdness. The only thing that I envy people for is their (seeming) piece of mind. I think being sensitive, interested in all kinds of things that others never give a thought to and the capacity to be with weirdness, including others labelled weird or crazy is a gift.
    Yes it is painful. Yes we all need something to hold onto in our lives it's a matter of finding it. What do you love doing? What (other than suicidal thinking) keeps your mind occupied? If you can't find paid work then try and spend your time with constructive stuff like learning new things, volunteering, exercising. You have time and that is a precious gift.
  5. Øyvind

    Øyvind Senior Member

    Thanks guys. I don't have the concentration to read this now, but I will come back and read later and I didn't want you to think I was being ungrateful.
  6. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Oyvind! :hug:

    How do I deal with things that make me suicidal?
    Things that you could do are write things down, it might get it off your chest. You could also talk to a close friend or doctor about these things. You could also wring a helpline for example in the UK we have Samaritans, however I am not sure of the helplines in your country?

    How do I deal with being so different?
    I am not entirely sure what you mean here but everybody is different from one another there is no human exactly the same were all different ages, shapes, and have all different issues. And that's okay being different. My advice is that you try not to let it affect you too much because this will bring your spirits down and then you will isolate yourself.

    How do I deal with not having anything to do with my life?
    Maybe start doing something like volunteering, join a club/group that represent your hobbies. If your struggling then maybe join a support group in which there are similar people there like you, that can help you bring out your confidence.

    Hope that helps. You know you can always message me!! :hug:
  7. late

    late Member

    I take comfort in my cat who greets met at the door when I come home. When people or e ents or news start to drag me down I avoid the news, plan my next vote or make a phone call or phone a friend or family member. Phoning out of the blue is rarely unwelcome and while I never really talk about my depression in depth to them the call itself helps.
  8. Øyvind

    Øyvind Senior Member

    I'm not different from others in the way everyone is different from eachother. From my point of view everyone's the same. It's not a matter of coexisting, cause I could coexist. I could live in a world where things were even, I could even live in a world where their side was the majority, as long as I was part of a sizable minority and not completely alone like now. This isn't coexistence. This is exclusively their world and I'm their prisoner. What other choice to isolation is there? Isolation from what? From the enemy, and sorry if that's childish but that's what people are, the enemy. I can not live in their world. And I can't "not let it bother me" and go on about my life, there is no life without other people.

    There's just no way out of this
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 6, 2014
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Øyvind, I'm sorry you feel so isolated sometimes. There are times when people do feel that their own outlook on life is quite different from that of the general society around them, or that somehow they must compromise their own values to "belong."

    ^ Whose world is it from your perspective? In what way are you a prisoner in that world? How are others enemies to you? (I'm asking so that I understand better.)

    If you could explain/expand on what things make you feel so alone, perhaps people here could offer you something more specific to consider. I know that there have been many times that I felt left out or lonely, but with time and effort in looking for interests and ways to participate with people in those interests, I've met some good people who make me feel included. I hope that the same will be true for you. :hug:
  10. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    everyday. i hope you get better and maybe some therapy might help.
  11. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Coming into an appreciation of how much you are LOVED, can help anyone feel included - and I'm talking objectively here, on the grand scale. I know that this touches on what we believe, but being honest we must agree that the things we are believing currently might not be doing us much good and that it could be time for a change.

    Over the last couple of days I've thought of a couple of thread titles to explore this further:

    1) Truer truth than I've believed to date can lead me into more insight which will help me to see things more clearly.
    2) "I am what I am" ? or "I am what I am choosing to become" ?

    Exploring these concepts, being willing to agree with new truth that resonates with you, can bring rays of light into an otherwise dark space. I wish I had the time to post these threads and unpack them better, but next week I begin a course of study for 6 months and know I couldn't do both - but will PM with anyone who wants to :) Blessings and strength :pray2:
  12. late

    late Member

    I wish we had a way for those of us who feel apart from other people to come together that we might know each other. The best way to mak3 a friend is to be a friend. Reach out to those who are also alone.

    Good luck.
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