How Do I Do This?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Brad, Feb 11, 2012.

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  1. Brad

    Brad Member

    Im 18 male, a freshman in college and everyone thinks im happy, when im with people, i put on a fake smile, make lots of jokes, and everyone thinks im the happiest person in the world, like nothing could ever phase me. I hate myself, how i act, how i look, feel like a waste of time and want to kill myself, but i just dont know how to get out of this situation.....i would even know how to talk to someone about this, and they would be completely shocked because im the happiest kid ever that always has a good time no matter what in their eyes. I want help, but wtf....i cant even tell my parents or brothers.

    thanks for reading
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I know so many people, including myself, that live these two lives...maybe sharing with someone here who has successfully spoken to ppl IRL about his/her problems will give you some strategies...I think it is very wise to be trying to talk about these issues...please continue to seek advise and rehearse with people who you are truly being more disclosing about how s/he is feeling
  3. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    I understand what you mean... I can't believe were totally the same. The putting on a fake smile and fake happiness. Im really sorry I cant give you advice because even I dont know how to sort my own crap... I wish you feel better though. hugs
  4. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Brad, you're an intelligent guy stuck in a mediocre society...the answer is in your're not happy faking which means you are happy in those rare moments that you can be yourself. Solve the puzzle of why you can't be yourself and your self-loathing with switch to compassion and acceptable not only for yourself but for all.

    The world is trapped in ideology (nation) and theology (religion). Everyone is imposing their ideas on everyone else and the end results is possessiveness, ego, jealousy, violence, arguments, wars, guilt trips, etc.... Everyone depends upon everyone else to support their illusions of life and that is the worldwide cancer, the worldwide mental illness. You can escape this but dying isn't necessary to do so.
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