How do I explain to my family, friends and fiance that I need help?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by existentialist, Nov 7, 2013.

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  1. existentialist

    existentialist New Member

    I have always had suicidal thoughts and I am stuggling to feel any hope for the future as these feelings are just getting worse. Nothing in my life is inherently wrong but I feel disconnected from everyone around me and unable to cope on my own. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been through therapy before as a child but it didn't help because I seem to be incapable of opening up to people and saying how I feel. I've made three attempts on my life this year but in all honesty I don't know whether I want to die or whether I just need support but am too afraid to ask for it. I don't know what to do to be able to speak to the people close to me about this.
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member


    Honestly... the first time you say "help me" .. is the hardest, but it never gets "easy" either. My best advice to you...

    first, make sure the person you are telling is: 1. trust-worthy 2. cares about you 3. able to hear you (meaning they will listen)
    next... just be honest and straight-forward... tell them what you have been feeling and why (if u know any of the reasons, sometimes, like today... i dont even know the reasons i feel suicidal myself, i just know that i do)
    and finally... let them know you need help but you also need their support, their support will be very pivotal on your success....

    if they do give you advice, listen to it, and tell them what you think/feel about what they say but if u think it has any chance of helping at all, do not just toss it aside as "impossible" because its easy to do that but many times, we only think things are impossible becasue we are so depressed... you have to be as willing to listen openly to them as they need to be open to listen to you

    if they dont or wont listen.... then dont feel u failed or its your fault or etc, just understand u did what u needed to do and did the best you could, then start the search for a therapiist/counselor... you dont have to settle for the first one you find.. make sure whoever you get, you can feel comfortable talking to and that doesn't make u feel "less than" or etc... find the one that is right for you

    if you do end up having to go to the hospital, its ok... it can really help both in getting better and in getting you more tools to get better, education for you and your family on whats going on with you, and finding you more support

    if your friends wont support you... then look around your community and/or talk with your counselor, etc.... for peer to peer support groups or other things that can help you... theres a lot out there... and of course, dont forget... we're here for you too!!

    i hope all turns out ok for you, take care!
  3. existentialist

    existentialist New Member

    Thank you for the reply.
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi. do you have one person in your life who you trust? anyone? I reached out to an aunt many decades ago when I needed someone. Can you think of one person who could hear your words the way you would most want them heard?

    I personally think that sf is a great place. so I am glad you are here. Please do talk here as much as you want. Although it is never required, of course.
    :welcome: :butterfly2:
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2013
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    np... hope it helped
  6. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    SF has been my lifeline. I vent here as much as I need to without being judged because most of us suffer from similar issues. We encourage you to keep opening up to us and like to follow up with you, whether you feel better or worse. We'll always be there for you. Good luck!
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