I have always had suicidal thoughts and I am stuggling to feel any hope for the future as these feelings are just getting worse. Nothing in my life is inherently wrong but I feel disconnected from everyone around me and unable to cope on my own. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been through therapy before as a child but it didn't help because I seem to be incapable of opening up to people and saying how I feel. I've made three attempts on my life this year but in all honesty I don't know whether I want to die or whether I just need support but am too afraid to ask for it. I don't know what to do to be able to speak to the people close to me about this.