How do I get better?

[Palomahasdied]

(I am sorry if this is in the wrong thread, I have a hard time figuring out in witch one I should post)

I am depressive, I pretty much hate myself, and I am trying to get better, accepting myself, thinking less about suicide, that sort of stuff, I am also a very cold person, I have very little empathy, I don´t know how to improve that, and to get less frustrated, because I always wanted to be very independent, so I don´t like asking for help and get very frustrated trying to learn new things and failing, and I am an introvert, so I have a hard time talking to "strangers" in person mostly, so it´s difficult to make friends.

Also I don´t really understand to concept of a support system, or net, so if someone could explain how do I create one.

Also (I am trying to be objective, and giving you an idea of how I behave, for more accurate advice) I don´t currently go to a teraphist or psychologist, because its too expensive and I am in colege and I don´t have money for it, I did go to a "free" clinic, but they said I could only make five secions, and then they would refer to a therapist that was cheapper, but I called like 7 times, at the time (Like 2 years ago) and they never answered, BTW I didn´t like going to the therapist, I felt really akward and unconfourtable (Please fix my grammar and spelling mistakes, I am trying to improve my english).

I also have red most of the texts here, and I did take notes, but I am still clueless about what to do.

ok I think that is it, I hope someone has some useful advice. thanks

 

[justrob]

Hello @Palomahasdied,

I think posting on SF is a good start (there also is a group chat to join, one for socializing and another one to get help and advice). You will find a good support system on SF. That simply means that there are people here who have gone or going through what you are and will listen to you without judgement and help you if they can. In other words you can make friends in a safe environment.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this.

If you can't afford to see a therapist, you might want to try reading some books.

@Lady Wolfshead has recommended The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns. It's a book about CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT is one of the best styles of therapy for treating depression, and there's evidence that learning the techniques on your own can help.

A member here has mentioned a book called The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis for survivors of child sex abuse.

Curing Depression Naturally with Chinese Medicine is a book that has a lot of self-help methods for depression. It may only be available used, or as an e-book.

The links in my signature also have some information about general treatment and self-help methods. In particular, you might want to try the acupressure self-massage described there. I'll post a copy of the links here in case you're on a phone.

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety


Practices like meditation, yoga, or qi gong might be worth trying too.

A daily exercise routine may help. Going for a brisk 20-30 minute walk each day may help you, just intense enough to barely break a sweat. You switch to less intense exercise during the winter though.

You might be able to afford to take anti-depressants, since there are generic versions of drugs that may be relatively low cost. Anti-depressants won't cure depression, but they may allow you to make some positive life changes that will help resolve the underlying problems. If you feel at risk for a suicide attempt, it may be especially important for you to take them.

Also I don´t really understand to concept of a support system, or net, so if someone could explain how do I create one

I don't know all the details, but I think the idea is that you try to find as many sources of support as you can, and then get a little bit of support from each. That way it's likely that at least one source of support will be available when you need it, and that you also don't demand more support from any one source than they are willing and able to give.

Having good two-way communication from your supports may help, so that it's clear that you're not asking too much from any source, and there is no unexpressed resentment building up.

Offering support to folks here who have similar issues may be one way of building some mutual supports. You could even explicitly ask for someone to be a supporter if you'd like.

There may be some books, articles, or videos about building a support network.

 

[Lekatt]

(I am sorry if this is in the wrong thread, I have a hard time figuring out in witch one I should post)

I am depressive, I pretty much hate myself, and I am trying to get better, accepting myself, thinking less about suicide, that sort of stuff, I am also a very cold person, I have very little empathy, I don´t know how to improve that, and to get less frustrated, because I always wanted to be very independent, so I don´t like asking for help and get very frustrated trying to learn new things and failing, and I am an introvert, so I have a hard time talking to "strangers" in person mostly, so it´s difficult to make friends.

Also I don´t really understand to concept of a support system, or net, so if someone could explain how do I create one.

Also (I am trying to be objective, and giving you an idea of how I behave, for more accurate advice) I don´t currently go to a teraphist or psychologist, because its too expensive and I am in colege and I don´t have money for it, I did go to a "free" clinic, but they said I could only make five secions, and then they would refer to a therapist that was cheapper, but I called like 7 times, at the time (Like 2 years ago) and they never answered, BTW I didn´t like going to the therapist, I felt really akward and unconfourtable (Please fix my grammar and spelling mistakes, I am trying to improve my english).

I also have red most of the texts here, and I did take notes, but I am still clueless about what to do.

ok I think that is it, I hope someone has some useful advice. thanks

I wrote a couple of things that might help you. They don't cost anything to try and they helped me. Read Intent and/or Beating Fear.