how do i get over her

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by corang, Dec 1, 2009.

  1. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    She may live 3 time zones away and we may have met on a computer game but she was my first love. We met last year and started going out last september. We didn't have a formal break up it was more like she stopped talking to me deleted me from her myspace friends and wouldn't have anything to do with me. That was march or april and everyone has just told me "time will heal all wounds" or flat out say "just get over her."

    How do I just get over my first love the reason I'm alive today? I can't count how many times I didn't kill myself just because I had her or how many times shes talked me out of it. She could calm me down when I was at my worst staring at how I was gunna do it. NOBODY else at the time could do that everyone else had to use force to keep me alive.

    Now I feel like I'm falling for another girl she knows I'm in hell trying to get my ex out of my mind. I know it wouldn't be fair to the girl I'm falling for to have me like I am now so I refuse to ask her out till I can stop thinking of my ex. So 7 or 8 months later the "wounds" still feel like they did the first day how do I move on if time won't help me? Believe me I'm trying to get over her I want to move on and find happiness but I need some help.
     
  2. Terror

    Terror Well-Known Member

    Time. But don't worry time flies.
     
  3. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    time will not heal any...i didnt over come my love after so many years ...you will not forget a lover tell you fall in another...so dont be scared of falling in love again...good luck
     
  4. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    They say time heals all wounds, I say bullshit. I wish I could help you out.. I'm not very helpful. :sad:
     
  5. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    Atleast I dont feel alone in this I guess ill post a way if I ever find one.
     
  6. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    It's okay

    I really feel for you. There's a girl I am deeply in love with, she's got too many problems to have a relationship with anyone, but I know she adores me and I send her sweet emails and forum updates which she loves, and I carry her in my heart like spiritual people carry their savior in their hearts and that keeps me happy and strong. Of course she hardly ever replies coz she thinks she hurts me too much, but that's what gets me through in life. :)
     
  7. Disappear

    Disappear Well-Known Member

    Re: It's okay

    Well I've been in a similar situation, except it's been a couple of years now..so time didn't heal me. I miss him and still think of him lots. I think maybe you're like me...you didn't get the closure, which we so desperately need? is that the problem? The only thing you can do is TRY and put her out of your mind, when you think of her make a conscious decision to think of something else. And you have a nice new person you like now...try and give her a chance. You'll be ok, if you ever need to talk, I'm here.
     
  8. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone! I haven't brought this up before because I felt pathedic and expected everyone to act like everyone else that knows. Really thank you all. :)
     
  9. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    You're welcome Justin :hugtackles:
     
  10. Fdt

    Fdt Well-Known Member

    I was once in a similar position to you. I never even met the girl I was in love with, we spoke every day for hours, I was saving up for 8 months so I could get a flight to go and see her, then one day she just went away and didn't contact me. It hurt a lot having the girl who helped me gain some self-esteem and happiness take it all away again. So now I'm having to start over again, it's going slow but I think it's getting better, though I'm really struggling to think if I'll be able to be with someone again.

    I think you'll be ok over time, how much time, I don't know, I think time heals but has a far greater effect on some than others.
     
  11. Aerial

    Aerial Well-Known Member

    My belief is time will only heal wounds if you're willing to put in the effort to let go. I've learned that you've gotta do your part. If it were up to me, I could obsess over someone forever. I know what I'm like but I can't put myself through that.

    I don't think it's fair to rebound with someone else, but maybe don't date seriously. Hang out with other people, if you're up for it. Get out and do different stuff. Delete old files or pictures off of your computer if you've got any on her. You're going to have to push her out of your life by not keeping her alive in your head. Letting go means not hanging onto memorabilia or looking her up constantly online. I know that's hard. Believe me, I know. But it's got to be done.

    I hope this helps. If you can handle it, date someone else, but if you feel you keep thinking about the other woman, just focus on friendships now with different people and in the meantime, do some clean up like I mentioned above.

    All the best.
     
  12. spyke

    spyke Well-Known Member

    when will people learn to treat rE-lationships with the respect they deserve.........

    NONE

    <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Insulting>

    and that's in REAL life

    she's got no obligation to you

    she doesn't see you she's formed to natural physical bond with you it's all just your picture on a screen

    how the hell can that ever be love

    so she get's to know your mind a bit better

    won't make a difference not one iota

    rE-lationships are quite simply a joke and unless there's a REAL effort that they want to see me they get a bit of a flirt and then i explain to them that i'm not a moron and i won't be used so be thankful for what you got so far then go out get in a real relationship away from me and see just who'll put up with their bs

    usually i get blocked after that and problem solved and another meatbag leaves me alone

    happy days:dry:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2009