How do I get over him

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by foxbear, Aug 7, 2014.

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  1. foxbear

    foxbear New Member

    First off I am gay. I was in a relationship for 15 years.

    I feel that I just can't function anymore. I walk the streets crying missing my partner so much.

    It has been 4 months since we broke up and I moved out.

    We done everything together. Its like I can't even go on holidays because any place I want to go we done it together.

    He has moved on with his new partner who was our mutual friend. They both have drug issues but apparently are drug free from what I know

    How do I move on. I can't. I am so sick of crying. People say hang in there it will get better, sorry it is getting worse day by day.

    I honestly feel that there is no other option than suicide. I can't stand my life and refuse to live in misery.

    I am 51 so have lived an ok life
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, one of my closest friends was gay, sadly he passed away in 2012. He was awesome. I am so sorry to hear of your situation. You walk the streets crying? That is heartbreaking to hear. Does anyone ever see you and approach you when you're crying? Nonetheless I hope you will find you can be open up and talk to us here. Best of luck to you, maybe therapy could help you. I have been in therapy it's helped so much. Good luck :)

    Oh and just so you know there are many people your age here, age doesn't come into the depression equation, it can affect anyone as I'm sure you know.
  3. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :freehug: Foxbear
  4. iicookieii

    iicookieii Active Member

    Loosing someone you love very deeply is so hard. It tears at your heart and eat away at your soul. It invades your waking moments and your sleeping ones. You remember all the positive times you had, the laughs you had, and the love you shared. I know from experience.

    Fortunately for you, you can take time to heal yourself. Learn to fall in love for yourself, and not to idolize your relationship- not every moment was positive, and I'm sure you've had your ups and downs. It doesn't matter if you're 51- you have the opportunity to fall in love at any age, although our society would like to tell us otherwise.

    I'm a hypocrite though, writing this while I'm still bleeding over him
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Its understandable. 15 years is impressive.

    In order to rebuild ones life have to learn how to be single again for the time being repairing a broken heart and forming new contacts and friendships in order to move forward. Its weird to do things on your own instead of sharing with someone.

    Not going to lie not going to be easy to get over someone you loved for 15 years. Everyone got their own pace of grief to process.

    Good luck, hope you can find some sense of peace. Hugs.
  6. sweetles

    sweetles Well-Known Member

    foxbear, believe it or not, even as a straight woman i relate soooo well to your story. i too was in a long-term relationship (11 yrs, known one another now for 14) with THE Love of my life who was the center of my universe. this person and the relationship we had gave me my entire sense of purpose, value and contentment in life for all those yrs, and since he dumped me (due to my depression he says), it's like wandering around the planet aimlessly in a body with no soul. like you i can't even imagine doing something "fun" or going someplace special...we did all those things together, what would be the point now? just to remind myself of being alone?

    i am sure you and your partner shared many beautiful times together, and that is why you suffer as you do now. people say, count your good fortune that you had true love and beautiful memories like that to begin with, because many never find it. i am not sure if they realize how much worse it is to have something wonderful and lose it, than to never know it at all...

    so i just want to offer some understanding and cyberhugs to you, and if you ever just wish to vent to someone about anything at all, my inbox is open.
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