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How do I get over this insecurity?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Jan 24, 2013.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I was friends with a guy for about 7 years, and I never told him how I felt about him. Now that he is no longer a part of my life, I regretted not telling him. I told myself I would never go through that again, that I would never hold in my true feelings. I recently told someone how I felt about him after he admitted he could easily fall for me. I know he likes me for who I am, but it's hard for me to show my true self. I mean I tell him the negative aspects of my life and I feel like such a loser for talking about it. But this insecurity extends to all aspects of my life....I'm constantly saying I'm sorry if I think I did the slightest thing wrong, even though I did nothing at all most times. I'm worried people are judging me, or think I'm a loser or freak for speaking my mind. I have to second guess everything I do and say, and it gets exhausting living in a constant state of being unsure. Has anyone else dealt with this, and if so, is there any way to get over it, or to lessen it?
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I should have never posted this. It seems that I've made an ass out of myself once again.
  3. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I wish I could help you here Witty. But truthfully I live with this still everyday! I wish I had some magical words or advice to help since it hurts always being in doubt. All I can say is I can always try to help you bit by bit as you need it.
  4. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    I once heard someone say that if you want to accept yourself, then you first have to forgive yourself for not being perfect. Having someone there who likes who you are, is a good step towards getting to the point were you can start to forgive all the minor flaws that, somewhat ironically, no one else seems to notice.
  5. Stadium

    Stadium New Member

    I struggle with this as well, You didn't make a ass out of yourself... Don't think like that. Everyone has problems and it just depends what they are.. But anyway back to what you were saying...

    Improve your self image make you something that you want... If you don't want yourself it's impossible to think others will.. Whereas if you think highly of yourself you tend to think others do..... Tell people how you feel.. What's the worst that could happen?
  6. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I, too, stuggle with this. My therapist said I'm too easy with the truth and that I reveal way too much information too soon, making others uncomfortable. I think I can relate that to what you said about telling people the negative aspects of your life and then feeling like a loser.

    You're not a loser :)

    But those things are a part of who you are. If you think it's holding you back in relationships then maybe try holding the negative self-comments back a while and focus and the good that is happening, revealing little bits at a time so no one is overwhelmed. It's what I plan on doing should I ever get another chance at a relationship.
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Thanks everyone for the great advice :) The guy I mentioned in the first post has been very helpful and supportive towards me, and it's nice to feel comfortable about being myself for once. I actually feel accepted and like my opinion matters.
  8. Blockhead

    Blockhead Member

    Living with regret that can't be fixed is worse than living with others judging you. If you try to be a good person, you have nothing to be ashamed about. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you care about him/her because you never know when the last chance you have will be. Everyone is different and you will never receive 100% support from everyone. Speak your mind and those who support your actions are your best friends, those who don't simply don't matter.
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