How do I go on, too much pain in this life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ajvisalone, Mar 18, 2015.

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  1. Ajvisalone

    Ajvisalone Member

    Idk what to do anymore, I give up. All this life offers is pain and sorrow. I can't eat or sleep anymore. I have no will to go on. I can't take it anymore. I'm so alone and nobody can see past my fake smile to the real me who is dying inside. Idk what to do anymore.
     
  2. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    Hi Ajvisalone, I'm so sorry to read you are in so much pain. I know what it is like to give up and lack the will to go on and so feel for you and what you are going through. Are you getting any medical help for your depression? Have you tried calling any hotlines? Depression is a horrible thing - it sucks the very life out of you and robs you of the strength you need to fight it - but it is important to remember it is a disease and there are treatments for it. Please hang in there.
     
  3. Ajvisalone

    Ajvisalone Member

    I've been seeing a doc but it's like he thinks in full of it. Nobody knows how I feel, they all think I'm just fine and dandy when everyday is a struggle. If I didn't have kids, I think I'd already have ended this pain.
     
  4. Vaughan

    Vaughan Well-Known Member

    What has your doctor said?
     
  5. Ajvisalone

    Ajvisalone Member

    He believes I'm depressed and have anxiety attacks but hasn't done anything to help me. We talk for an hour a week and he sends me home. That's about it. Waste of time. Been afraid to go for a long time and when I finally do it's for nothing.
     
  6. Vaughan

    Vaughan Well-Known Member

    Maybe it's not so black and white. Maybe next time you go you could start by saying "I have something I must discuss..." and then voice your concerns that you're not getting medication.....
     
  7. Travsmate

    Travsmate Member

    Hi AJV,

    I've had single days or consecutive days where I've felt it's the end of the line for me and it's tough; It's so frightening beyond anything describable.

    Think about the possibility of Tomorrow and the week ahead - Make some small steps to walk.

    First and foremost please try to think of something even remotely positive about yourself and/or your life and that is the foundation you need to feel the courage to be able to talk to someone with nothing to lose and everything to gain like your life back and the your true self to everyone who cares about you.
     
  8. Ajvisalone

    Ajvisalone Member

    Thank you all for the replies they mean a lot.
     
  9. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    Jeez. Sounds like you need a new doc.

    Know what you mean about kids - mine have kept me alive for years. A shrink once told me that children who are abandoned by parents actually fare better than those who lose a parent to suicide.
     
  10. Ajvisalone

    Ajvisalone Member

    Thanks chestnutmay I'll remember that when I think of them.
     
  11. itsME123

    itsME123 Member

    Hello, I also think people really don't see the pain I am in. I am so sorry you feel the same way. it makes your whole body hurt, you cant thing, you don't know why it is happening to you. like you, if I did not have my kids, I would not be here. do you also feel ashamed as I do. like I am being this weak mother that doesn't deserve my daughters love. she is my gift. and the reason I live. if you want to talk, I will see the pain you are in.
     
  12. Ajvisalone

    Ajvisalone Member

    I know exactly how you feel. It's to the point where all I think about is ending it all anymore. The world would be better off as would my family.
     
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