How do I go on..

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by IAmLost, Jan 28, 2013.

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  1. IAmLost

    IAmLost New Member

    When my only reason for breathing has decided it isn't worth it any more? When the person I feel so strongly for that nothing else seems to matter, gives up and throws it all away.
    How am I supposed to live without my soul mate, without the one thing in my life that was good. It feels like my whole world has fallen apart...
    We were supposed to get married.. we had our lives planned out together.
    She says she can't handle the distance anymore.. the uncertainty.. She claims she loves me.. and she promises we'll be together
    that we'll get married and have our family.. but not right now.. she expects me to believe that she'll wait for me
    that the time is just not right and that she'll wait..
    It feels like there's an iron band around my chest..tightening and squeezing the life out of me. I can't stop crying no matter how hard I try.
    I feel betrayed. All the promises broken as if they meant nothing at all.
    I haven't cut yet. I' m too afraid that if I start I won't ever stop.
    She selfishly asks me to stay not just disappear from her life.
    As much as I want to I can't bring myself to leave. I can't abandon her like she has me.
    I'm so pathetic. Clinging to the idea that she'll see her mistake.
    That she'll change her mind and run back into my arms.
    I don't know how much longer I can do this.. Going on as if my life isn't over.
    Pretending to everyone around that everything is okay.
    As cliche as it sounds.. She is the one. I've been in love before..but never like this. Never so completely..never go undoubtedly.
    What other purpose does one have in life, when they've managed to ruin the one thing they need..?

  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...some people, like yourself, lead with your heart...others (maybe her) are more seems she has said things she could not follow up on now...that is heartbreaking, but not your doing...only you can decide whether to wait or move on...I am living proof that after a relationship that I felt was with my soul mate had ended, there is love never knows where s/he will find it...I found it when being treated at a hospital (I never would have guessed that would happen) have so much to offer...please make sure you offer it to the right person...with much caring and understanding
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