How do I handle this appropriately

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lilly, Jul 29, 2014.

  1. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    Dont get offended by this please, im not saying it to be a heartless bitch. IM posting this because it really gets my goat, it makes me really angry I could cry on top of that its triggering to me too and I havent cut in (Proud girl) One month, and thats such a big accomplishment I feel and one I cant really shaare right...so heres my thing, and I need some advice on what to do too please?

    My best friend has lately been talking about suicide, but here is the part that is making me mad:
    Everything she says is a lie, and it seems like shes just seeking attention.

    She admitted herself to the hospital once, because she said she was suicidal and they form oned her and kept her a bit and diagnosed her as a borderline (I swear they use that to make people go away it means nothing what is that anyways) and gave her some meds. WE all thought oh great if she needed help shes got it.
    Thats not the part that pissed me off, thats good, all that there, good right?
    But then she starts talking about how she cuts herself all the time, but she has not cuts....ive seen her naked she has no cuts..anywhere. Shell be like "Oh yea i cut myself last night" but she doesnt have any cuts.....uhmmm...what?
    And randomly she tells people "I like to cut myself sometimes" and things like "I like the pain I like to bleed" Just out of nowhere, shell tell people that. And it makes them feel uncomfortable you know? But again she never has any marks on her either. Not saying I WANT her too, i dont but..i mean thats weird right?
    Then today she posts on facebook "Sitting in Lakeridge waiting" And im like "For what?" and she messages me and a bunch of other people "Oh im on suicide watch" But if she was she wouldnt even have her phone, so this other girl she messaged is messaging me too and shes like oh my goodness all freaked right, so i told her like, its bullshit she always says tihs and that but its never true. And so I messaged my friend and im like 'how are you on your phone and facebook if youre on suicide watch?" and she doesnt reply for a while and when she does she changes her whole story. "oh im in the waiting room, I WILL be on suicide watch" but if youre on suicide watch and youre brought into emerg, they dont TELL your that youre on suicide watch or tht you will be they PUT YOU ON IT RIGHT THERE AND SEND YOU TO THE STUPID GLASS ROOM SHES NEVER EVEN BEEN IN !!!!
    and then so i tell her that, and i ask her what she was brought in for and she doesnt reply but then goes on facebook and talks a bunch of shit amd then messages me that shes excited for wonderland on sunday. uhm wait what? Werent you just about to kill yourself or so you say?
    shes supposedl been at the hospital for like 3 hours, but her facebook says shes in a totally different location for one, and for two if she was at the hostpital shed need to go outside to get service which if she was on suicide watch she wouldnt be allowed outside...
    so..what do i do?
    Am i being an insensitive biotch or what?
    I mean honestly she lies about this stuff so much and its not cool...am i being reasonable or should i be more understanding to her????? I mean how do i handle this because shes my bestie and i love her to pieces, and if i thought for a second she was in trouble id be there in a second, but like every single thing i see leads to this being more bullshit you know? And it makes me mad because, when I wanna kill myself when i feel like hurting myself??? I dont tell people....I never once got any help, and it takes away from people who might need it...and its triggering too, and i dont think she even gets the half of it
     
  2. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    Replies would be good any time guys
     
  3. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    Now she just messaged me that shes going to a farm.....if shes on suicide watch she doesnt even have her phone and i checked her location shes not even at the hospital....what do i do
     
  4. ChanceOfThat

    ChanceOfThat Member

    It sounds like you should have a sit down with her, ask her why is she saying this. There might be alot of reasons why, but if you do sit down with her i'd recomend to ask and not judge.
     
  5. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    but its ridiculous. I full out talked to her on the phone a bit ago too and CAUGHT her in her lie, and like i dont get it.....who FAKES shit like that? It isnt a joke.
     
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Part of Borderline is compulsive lying in many people- and saying she is on suicide watch may be her way to get attention for feeling suicidal and wanting to see if anybody cares. These are some of the reasons that some people with borderline have a very hard time maintaining relationships- they do things that blow relationships up without even knowing or being able to explain why themselves. I am not saying that is why - I am simply putting it out there as a possibility. I have no idea what she would be on meds for however since personality disorders are not typically treated with meds but that is a different issue.

    I guess I would ask why is it bothering you so much? If you are upset by it or it is triggering you and making you feel worse then stop replying for a while or ask her to exclude you from that part of her life- your first priority is yourself. In the end , you have to decide what relationships are healthy for you and and withdraw from from the unhealthy ones. You cannot control another persons behavior so it is up to you to decide if the relationship is more positives or negatives and then simply accept it for what it is and choose to maintain it or not.
     
  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    No one needs this fake drama coming from their bff.

    The question is why are you allowing this to bother you so much, you know you can simply ingore drama? And congrats on not cutting. Awesome.
     
  8. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    I agree with what others are saying I would talk to her about it... It might be beneficial or bad.... I had a friend who lied a lot, big drama... Always out to make herself the victim for things that she clearly was the "abuser" ... Note I said had a friend... I tried to talk to her about her problems because not only did it bother me but it made me uncomfortable, she ignored me, blocked me, and started talking shit about me and made it put to be like I was attacking her when all I did was try to help.. She's no longer my friend... It cause me more harm them good and in a way I'm glad I have moved on, it hurts but I know it's the best.. Congrats on not cutting it's a good accomplishment!
     
  9. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    Why does it not bother you? shes making a mokery out of something very serious.......even after i talked to her she thought it was funny, she said she just wanted too see a reaction and that it wasnt something that really mattered.....
     
  10. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    I just want her to see that she cant behave like that, i told her next time i would report everything she said...thats the right thing to do right?
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    She is attention seeking and while you may feel she is making a mockery out of a serious illness as you have said, it's obvious to me at least that there's something behind why she is behaving the way she is and perhaps finding that out might be a difficult task, I think it's the only solution here. Something is obviously bothering her, maybe I missed it or you did not say what age she is? You are certainly right that her behaviour isn't acceptable to the people around her but definitely seems to me she is trying to let something out in the wrong way.

    Also..congrats on not cutting for a month, that's is brilliant, well done! :)
     
  12. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    NYJmpMaster is right...I'm also diagnosed Borderline and sometimes they say things to get attention to see if anyone cares about them. Borderlines can be very manipulative and play a lot of mind games. I've done it too many a time. Not with that, specifically, but with other things.