How do I help my dad?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Concerned Daughter, Dec 6, 2007.

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  1. Concerned Daughter

    Concerned Daughter New Member

    My Dad attempted suicide a couple of days ago. He is in a rehab center right now. They are only keeping him for 3-5 days. I'm concerned this is not long enough. He is on medical disability and my Mom works full time. This means he is home by himself on week days. He has had 3 heart attacks, 2 strokes, congestive heart failure, 15 stints put in his chest, a pace maker, diabetes, a bleed on his brain, seizures caused from the strokes, etc., etc., etc. He is always having chest pains, headaches, and dizziness. He says he is tired of fighting. He tried to overdose on his medication. My parents live in Texas and I live in Washington with my husband and three month old daughter. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I could help him? I don't know what to do. Thank you.
  2. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    Hi, I feel very sad that you are in this situation..

    I think you should move to Texas until your dad recuperates fully; Please don't take any chances.

    And you could also ask your mom to leave the job for now..

    Try and find out why your dad is suicidal and then seek advice from a psychologist.
  3. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    Lot of love and support will help your dad. Try spending more time with him doing something fun.
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    just be there for him whether it's via phone. email, or in person. Just know let him know how much you love him and want him in this world. Offer support, an ear, unconditional love. I know you must be so confused etc. as to what's going on in his head but if you offer all the love and supprt in the world you could show him how much people need him and love him.

    Good luck. :hug:
  5. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    It won't change a thing either you move back home or your mum gives
    up her job.

    It has nothing to do with either of you hun. I am in similar situation so
    I am talking from your dad's point of view.

    We are overwhelmed by health issues. Either we fight or not, things just
    keep going downhill so what's the point in fighthing? You that are 'healthy'
    have no idea what it means to be in pain round the clock, having seizures
    and all the rest..... you can imagine, suppose but still a mile away aside from what it is to walk in our shoes.

    I have given up, picked up myself alone, wanting to continue and be there
    for 'others' yet forgetting the main issue. Do I want to be there for myself?

    The answer is what will make him go on or give up. Of course feeling needed and loved and wanted does have its weight yet the balance is all the rest on one side vs wanting to be and being there. If we do feel we arent there even if physically we are 'present' inside we are already dead.... so the balance is unequally balanced from the start.

    No psicologist will help no matter what is said. Psychiatrist will boost him with meds to level up his mood and perhaps numb him to the point of postponing the outcome but at the end, when meds will be taken away cos he cant live on it forever, he will be face with a decision as I am.

    WE go ON or we DONT.

    So dont ask your hubby to give up all that he, you two have, house job etc and hope to make a new start in texas..... if you do it for dad, DONT. You wont change anyhtng either there or in texas. Advice given by wattodie is a mile away from realty even if meant to be helpful.... but isn't in the reality of what he is faced with hun.

    Share with him, involve him in facts not in what if's..... seek his adivce on life or issues that you face, he needs to feel that he has still somehting to accomplish......... otherwise his purpose here has no value. That is what kept me going so far ..... it last as long as it last....... better than nothing but our end is near. Sorry hun but life has a biginnning and an end for each of us as painful as it is or seem.

    :hug: courage all is not over just yet
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Wow Concerned, you have so much on your plate right now. It must be aweful to want to help but yet be so far away. I know as a parent that has tried to commit suicide that my children are so important to me. I need to feel important to them. You need to let your dad know that he is still so important to you. Keep him invovled in your life. It may have to be only through the phone or internet, but it will mean so much to him. Keep asking for his advice, his input and what is going on with him. Get him really invovled with your baby. Keep him posted on every little thing that child accomplishes each day or how it is so special to have a grandpa for that little one. Remind him that it takes a village to raise a child. And he is one of the most important memebers of that village. Keep making him feel like he has worth. It is amazing how helping others and feeling useful can help dull a persons pain or fears. Give him a reason to want to stay here until he can start to find ones for himself. Being alone at times when you feel so hurt and suicidal has to be one of the most difficualt demons for any one to overcome. Maybe suggest he try this forum. He is never alone here. The members here have pretty much done or experienced almost every spectrum of pain and hurt. It could be a benefit to him to read other posts and find some help in dealing with his own. It would also help pass some of that lonely time he has to experience. Is there any type of in home service available where he lives or respite people available through a gvmt. organization? I live in a small rural area and there is a volunteer service where people from the community go out and "visit" with those that aren't able to get out on their own often. Maybe just to have a coffee at a certain time each week, or play some cards or just talk. It would give him something to look forward to and fill some time for him. You and your family already have serious commitments and changing your locations or work schedules would be great but that's asking a lot and probably not very likely possible. Just keep trying like you are now. Keep reminding him how important, needed and loved he is. Your are such a wonderful and caring daughter to want to be there for him when he needs some one. Thank you for sharing your story and remember to take care of yourself right now too. If you ever need to talk please post again so we can help. Good luck!
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