How do I keep my mom out of my room?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kaspazzy, Mar 20, 2013.

  1. Kaspazzy

    Kaspazzy Active Member

    She wants it cleaned but it's my bedroom. I don't want her near it, I don't want her touching anything and I don't want to clean it with her. She can stay far away from it and not have one say in what it should look like. Her room looks worse and I'm not allowed in there unless I ask. She can stay far away from touching anything since I rent the place and she doesn't have any money of her own, she just uses my dad's money because ( honestly ) she doesn't have a job. I know that doesn't exactly make it right but I should be allowed to have my own private space looking how I want it to.
     
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    might be you don't want to listen to me as i'm a parent

    i let my kids pick furniture, bedding, decorate the way they wanted to (up to a point), but having a clean room was still required - you may hate the idea but believe me it is a better habit to get into then just dropping things all over the place - from experience your first apartment will likely be so dingy you will need to keep it clean just to make it feel mildly grimy as opposed to filthy

    sometimes you need to compromise and it sounds like if you keep it clean on your own she may leave you alone

    you still need to remember however that if you are still tecnhically a child (under legal age) a parent has the right to enter your room at any time, like it or not
     
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I realize that "the world has changed," but just because your dad works at a job and your mom does not does not make her any less of the household provider. The term "housewife" may sound insulting to some these days, but it was once a quite honored position in a family unit.

    A simple solution to your situation might be to just clean your room yourself. In that way, there would be no reason for your mom to feel a need to.

    Now that, as a parent, I have said my peace... I will put myself in your shoes for a moment, because when I was younger I had the same issue but worse. My mom would search my room like a detective, on a weekly basis. Not because I ever did anything wrong, but just because "I had the potential to, as a minor." She would even bring a screwdriver and open up speakers on my stereo to look inside and be sure there was no contraband. No, I had never been caught with anything and hence there was no probable cause for searching. I was actually a pretty darn well behaved kid, considering. My worst deeds ever growing up were a few prank phone calls and drinking some beers at the beach when I was 19. There was no cause for my mom's action... so realize, it could be worse.

    Clean the room spic-n-span and give mom no reason to desire her own cleaning venture. :)
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Sorry on this one - I have to go with the only reasonable way is to keep it clean enough yourself so she does not bother about it anymore. How she keeps her room is irrelevant- it is her house or apartment- not yours. Sadly your paying rent is no help either. I used to rent out a house after I had purchased a new one had no issue at all telling the renter to clean it up or leave without a security deposit. It is an unfortunate fact that when you are simply using something - even just space- the person with greater claim to ownership gets to make the rules.
     
  5. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    If you are a minor, there's nothing you can do. If you are paying rent to her and are living in a place that she is responsible for (name on rent books etc), then again, if she wanted to she could go into your room.

    If you want to avoid that, either clean up or find somewhere else. Although many other places won't return initial deposits if the room/place isn't kept to a reasonable standard. It's not your mum being deliberately fussy, it's something you'd learn when you get the opportunity to move out.

    I have rented rooms in other places and like you have an organised mess, and also not been refunded a deposit for this very reason. Now back at my mums, I have her moaning about it to me again and I'm 28. It's a parental thing for those who wish to teach their kids that being clean and tidy is better/healthier than not.
     
  6. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Unfortunately, I have to agree with everything said so far. I used to be a very messy person, very disorganised, (yet I knew where everything was) However, you may be "renting" the room, it is still under your parents roof, and ultimately they have the choice whether you keep it clean or not, ultimately they could say for you to find elsewhere.

    Secondly, there is nothing wrong with a stay at home mum. She may not have a "job" (should you wish to call it that) she may not be in paid employment, however the jobs she does around the house are quite different. it takes a lot to cook your meals, to clean your clothes, to make sure every where else is reasonable. She goes out and buys the shopping, and well, for the first 18 years of your life, how many times has she been there to cart you off to where you need to be (if she drives) how often has she provided you with money to go out with friends, how often has she been there when things go wrong. Cut her a bit of slack, nobodies perfect. You have to walk in her shoes, before you have any right to judge her for being a stay at home mother.