Well, a little backstory in short. I've been suicidal since i was 10. Im 19 now. Damn i almost almost made it to a decade. Kewl. Anyway, I've had real bad social anxiety since forever and its gotten worse now. I barely leave my room for weeks. Now my family, oh im not going there, they are absolutely ignorant. They act like nothing ever happened and that there's nothing wrong with me. And yes they know I've tried to kill myself. I've run away from the house multiple times. I quit uni, oh and i didn't even choose the major i had. I was about to run away from the home when the admissions were going on about 2 years ago. So my dad signed me up for computer science. I didn't hate that but i hated everything at the uni. Like idk how to say it was torture waking up everyday to go there. I did that for a couple years until last year in november when i gave up on everything and left my home. But my country being the shit hole that i think it is, it was not safe being out there alone. I was mugged. Like i was already confused and in a state of panic and then that happens. I should've been strong and kept going, but i wanted call my mum. And i did after asking too many people cuz no one would let me make a fucking phone call. This is getting long, I'll cut to the point. So I've been in my room ever since and now my dad again signs me uo for a culinary, which im really excited to take btw, but i cant. I had an interview today which I didn't go for. I cant its hard ok! I cant just wake up one day and go for an interview. So ye there. I have a feeling I've left out a lot of things but whatever. Thank you for reading whoever read it. I love pizza. Idk I just wanted to say that. Ok I'll stop talking now. Good day! ^^