Hi all. I don't know what to do. I am in a pit of despair and all I want to do is <mod edit - methods> end it all. If I didn't think that it would ruin the lives of everyone I knew, I would do it. I want to end my pain but I don't want to pass it on. The only problem is, there is nothing that helps me. I occasionally binge drink which is horrendous as I then end up embarrassing myself, irritate others and worry people. Embarassement is one of the hardest emotions to cope with. I don't think I want to die. But I really want help. I feel like I should be locked up and given sedative drugs. I feel like I should be in a secure unit. I'm not sure what I expect from writing this.