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How do I pull myself out of this pit?

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Nicola88, Feb 27, 2016.

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  1. Nicola88

    Nicola88 New Member

    Hi all.

    I don't know what to do. I am in a pit of despair and all I want to do is <mod edit - methods> end it all. If I didn't think that it would ruin the lives of everyone I knew, I would do it. I want to end my pain but I don't want to pass it on.

    The only problem is, there is nothing that helps me. I occasionally binge drink which is horrendous as I then end up embarrassing myself, irritate others and worry people. Embarassement is one of the hardest emotions to cope with.

    I don't think I want to die. But I really want help. I feel like I should be locked up and given sedative drugs. I feel like I should be in a secure unit.

    I'm not sure what I expect from writing this.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 27, 2016
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. @Nicola88

    I am glad to hear that you want help. Have you tried reaching out for that help yet?
  3. Nicola88

    Nicola88 New Member

    I have. I have had a first steps counseling session, on a 10 week waiting list. I feel like there's no point going to my GP as its always the same advice, "wait for the counselling" - easier said than done.
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum Nicola.

    I am sorry you are feeling this low *hugs*

    I am happy to hear you're on a waiting list for counseling. You deserve to take care of yourself and get the help you need.
    If you really feel like you can't trust yourself perhaps you should try to call an emergency number and tell them that. They can take care of you.

    You need to find some healthy coping mechanisms, try having a look around the forum, there are some pretty good advice in sticky threads.
    Drinking doesn't solve anything, it might feel good for a moment, but in the long term it only worsens things. As I am sure you are aware.

    Do you have any creative hobbies that can keep you occupied? I personally find it helps me to create something with my hands.

    Hang in there hun. Keep posting here, keep reaching out. Don't give up!
    My inbox is always open.
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Nicola, welcome to the forum.

    I am not judging you but trying to show compassion. Ok, your have a drink addiction which can be overcome. Simple techniques can help.

    1. Any drink where you live should be poured down the sink or toilet and you seek an alternative. You have face your demons face on and the cob selling will help you. If you want to avoid any temptation, get an elastic band and pull it when you have the temptation to drink. Go to your shop where you buy your drink and tell them to enforce a ban from buying a drink. You have to find inner strength to avoid another drink. If you go to parties and someone offers you a drink, just say you are ex-drinker who has reformed. Yes, you are going to struggle and no doubt relapse but that's not a problem. If you relapse, you start again and try better second time round. Yes, you are hurting but let's start by not drinking one day. Then marking that on a calendar with an X and moving on to the next day.

    Create yourself a daily timetable and stick to it. I hope this advice helps you. Don't be scared but life is important. We all struggle but have to remain positive for the rest of your life.
  6. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Nicola, welcome to sf, hope you can find some support and friendship here. Death brings only pain, grief and suffering, where as life can give so much more. It's good that you can see you need help and that suicide would hurt so many. I'm just sorry you are in the position you are in, where it's even a consideration.

    You have an unhealthy coping mechanism, which I'm not judging you for (i have had issues with the same in the past). Have you tried any programmes to help with it? If you are not getting much progress with your GP you can ask if you can be seen by a psychiatrist or possibly put on therapy/support programmes if there are any that suit you. Try your gp again, write down all of how you're feeling so you can pass it on and ask for any groups you can join to cut out the alcohol. You never know, he/she might be more helpful this time.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Nicola,

    I can definitely relate, I embarrass myself too when drinking and feel horrendous the next day. Depression/anxiety do not mix well with alcohol. Are you on anti depressants or are you waiting for the therapy to go along with it. I cannot promise therapy will fix you but it will make life easier for you and teach you coping mechanisms. What help would you like to see for yourself? Do you have any friends or family you can talk to about how you are feeling?
    And also welcome to the forums. *big hugs* We care here, we really do, otherwise we wouldn't be here, you can make amazing friends here and meet some of the most amazing people I have ever met. I wish you luck in your recovery.
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