How do I reconnect to the living?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Hazel Morse, Sep 21, 2016.

  1. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    So I'm back here after 2 months. I've been living in a kind of daze, just letting stuff happen to me.

    Here's my issue: now is the time to look for a real, permanent teaching job (I'm in Australia, school year begins January). I'm being offered jobs. Everyone who looks at my resume says I'm over-qualified for everything going. But I get no job when interviews come around - and I know why.

    For 7 years I worked at the Worst School in China. In the last year supervisor from hell forced me to end my contract in June. I was a loner - always planning to off myself before the worst happened. No friends. I have let all professional contacts slide. Even people who reached out to me, I did not answer their emails, thinking that it was over, that i was worthless, and people were better off not knowing me.

    Facebook is a nightmare - i can't use my account. What can I say? Nearly 40 years old, living with my abusive parents, no friends, no life, no real job.

    How can I reconnect to these people? I know it's not right to rely on people I haven't spoken to for references, but I can't tell them the real reason I never made true friends with them is that I'm suicidal.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm not sure. Maybe start by telling them that you were having a rough time which is why you didn't really connect with them back then. But you are now willing to. I hope you find a position soon.
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Hazel, good to see you back on the forum. I agree with @Rockclimbinggirl maybe just telling them the situation and that you've been through a rough time, you don't need to be detailed about it. But it may surprise you how many people will help you. I wish you the best of luck.
  4. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    I'll try. But it's been years in some cases.
  5. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    Thank you. This has thrown my situation into sharp relief again: I realise how lost I am and how disadvantaged. I've gone this past month telling myself that I can support myself with tutoring (not true) and don't want to work with a school any way.

    But now I can't help but have this problem staring me in the face. I can't deny it anymore. All of the problems associated with depression came rushing back - suicidal ideation, wanting to self harm, etc.
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Hazel, I'm glad you're at least back in your home country. I think you now have the chance for making some progress in your recovery, it must have been hell being in a foreign country and dealing with the people you worked for. Hopefully things will start to get better for you everyday.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi @Hazel Morse I really hope things start looking up soon. There's no shame in still living at home however it does affect your independence. I lie at home, I am 27. I honestly do not care anymore. I have absolutely zilch to prove to anyone.Good luck with finding work and getting your own place, keep talking to us here as well hun, we do care :)