How do I reconnect to the living?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Hazel Morse, Sep 21, 2016.

  1. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    So I'm back here after 2 months. I've been living in a kind of daze, just letting stuff happen to me.

    Here's my issue: now is the time to look for a real, permanent teaching job (I'm in Australia, school year begins January). I'm being offered jobs. Everyone who looks at my resume says I'm over-qualified for everything going. But I get no job when interviews come around - and I know why.

    For 7 years I worked at the Worst School in China. In the last year supervisor from hell forced me to end my contract in June. I was a loner - always planning to off myself before the worst happened. No friends. I have let all professional contacts slide. Even people who reached out to me, I did not answer their emails, thinking that it was over, that i was worthless, and people were better off not knowing me.

    Facebook is a nightmare - i can't use my account. What can I say? Nearly 40 years old, living with my abusive parents, no friends, no life, no real job.

    How can I reconnect to these people? I know it's not right to rely on people I haven't spoken to for references, but I can't tell them the real reason I never made true friends with them is that I'm suicidal.
     
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm not sure. Maybe start by telling them that you were having a rough time which is why you didn't really connect with them back then. But you are now willing to. I hope you find a position soon.
     
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Hazel, good to see you back on the forum. I agree with @Rockclimbinggirl maybe just telling them the situation and that you've been through a rough time, you don't need to be detailed about it. But it may surprise you how many people will help you. I wish you the best of luck.
    Brian
     
  4. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    I'll try. But it's been years in some cases.
     
  5. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    Thank you. This has thrown my situation into sharp relief again: I realise how lost I am and how disadvantaged. I've gone this past month telling myself that I can support myself with tutoring (not true) and don't want to work with a school any way.

    But now I can't help but have this problem staring me in the face. I can't deny it anymore. All of the problems associated with depression came rushing back - suicidal ideation, wanting to self harm, etc.
     
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Hazel, I'm glad you're at least back in your home country. I think you now have the chance for making some progress in your recovery, it must have been hell being in a foreign country and dealing with the people you worked for. Hopefully things will start to get better for you everyday.
    Brian
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi @Hazel Morse I really hope things start looking up soon. There's no shame in still living at home however it does affect your independence. I lie at home, I am 27. I honestly do not care anymore. I have absolutely zilch to prove to anyone.Good luck with finding work and getting your own place, keep talking to us here as well hun, we do care :)