How do I stop being self-conscious?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Novae Rogue, Jul 13, 2011.

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  1. Novae Rogue

    Novae Rogue Member

    I have this problem where I am always worrying about what other people think of me. Does anybody know how to stop this?

    Even the thought that somebody out there may have a negative opinion of me does my head in. But I look at politicians and actors, and they get critisiced all the time yet are unaffected by it. So clearly it is possible to stop being self-conscious.

    I was wondering if anybody knew how to get to that stage where you are unaffected by the opinion of others?
  2. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    First you have to pinpoint the reason why you're so concerned with the possible criticisms of others. Why does this bother you so much? What does this worry stem from?
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I had this in spades when in my teens and even now a little bit of it sticks.
    One thing I found helped, when worrying about what they thought; I would then ask myself what I thought of them.
    Did I really care about what this person thought? did I like them, find them interesting? most of the time it was a resounding NO!
  4. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    My simple reply is "FUCK 'EM"

    I used to be very self conscious but since i stopped giving a fuck ive become a lot happier.....i even get laid more now :lol!:
  5. Flying Fox

    Flying Fox SF Supporter

    Hang out with people from mid/eastern Europe like from the Czech-Republic; it seriously helps.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My therapist drilled this in my head... Don't worry about people.. They're in there own world and not thinking about you.. I have socialphobia and agoriphobia... She has me to the point hwere I can leave the house in the early mornings..I always wear a hat and sunglasses.. I feel safer that way for some reason..I don't talk to anyone..I just take care of buisness and hurry home..
  7. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    funnily enough i rarely leave my house without hat and does give me a sense of security and i feel naked without them!
  8. Blip

    Blip Member

    I used to be and am still very self conscious of what people think of me and what I say, and what I do, and what I wear....

    The best advice I've found so far for it is to think to yourself, " Will I ever see these people again?" It seems like a negative thought, but I've found that it helps me get into the habit of approaching people with less fear.

    Often times it almost becomes a mean game of distraction, keeping my mind busy so I don't get too carried away with thinking up all the negative comments others could be thinking about me. I think that's another part of it, just trying to keep your mind from going too far of thinking of what others might be thinking of you. At least, that's what would happen to me.

    I hope it helps.
  9. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    What finally worked for me is that I finally realized that thoughts (either good or bad) are just thoughts, nothing more than that, not reality itself...

    Now I don't even care what my own mind thinks. I know this just from my recent experience of not coloring my hair any more. My mind first projected how others might be thinking of me - my age, my look... For a couple months, I just noticed it and watched the thoughts. Sometimes I would smile to myself and say "just another thought - it doesn't change one bit about the actual reality..." Now the hair on top of my head is mixed gray color. Sometimes I notice people give me a funny look, I'd feel like them being silly as I am going the natural way. "Natural", you know :)
  10. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    be cold and unaffected helps.
  11. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Good god, everythings gone blurry, I thought you wrote "FUCK HER" confused the life out of me, i had to re-read the original post twice then down to yours again :tongue:

    I agree with the FUCK EM part :tongue: You're in the right, and if they make sense then you need to adjust yourself. But until they make a vaild argument or gesture that you may be doing something wrong, fuck em, keep that direction going.
  12. Novae Rogue

    Novae Rogue Member

    Sorry for the late reply guys, these last few months had more surprises than I expected. But ther is so much gold by so many of you guys. I have some serious food for thought to chew on for a while now. Thanks heaps guys.
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