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How do I stop thinking about her?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by perry_mason, Mar 2, 2009.

  1. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    I used to know a girl and things were good but then I messed up badly and now I cannot see her or talk to her (details of which are probably too long and boring to go into here) but I still think of her everyday.

    The problem now is that it is really getting to me even worse than usual. I love thinking about her but I realize I’m losing the plot slightly. I think I’m becoming pretty delusional at this point in time.

    I have tried to stop thinking about her but it never works.
    Any suggestions on what I can do to move past this and get over her.

    /btw we were in no sort of relationship of any kind, we were just 'friends' but to be honest, looking back, I don’t think we were even that. More like acquaintances or something like that may be.
  2. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    If all you want to do is stop thinking about her then you got to actually do things to keep you busy. i've had the same problem, sitting around and trying not to think about her really won't help, if anything it'll make you feel worse when she does pop back up.

    You got to get back on track, you got to live like yuo've never lived before and also work like you've never worked before. Take up new hobbies, meet new people, excell at school/college/work, just keep yourself really busy. Dont dwell on the crap that went down between you because that'll make you feel worse, don't think about what she's doing or where she'll be in 5 years time. Think about what you're going to do tomorrow, think about how to reach your goal in life and think about where you'd like to be in 5 years time and how you're going to get there. If you have things to think about then she'll just float away and when you're ready you'll start thinking about her now and again but yo uwon't get upset and you'll be able to control it.

    thats just how i've coped with the same problem, it might not be the right way but its worked so far.

    Good luck.
  3. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Im so used to what has happened to you. You delude yourself thinking they care so much but really it was all in your head, you take the littlest friendly gesture and make it something so much more. Correct me if im wrong about your relationship with this person, it just seems how I would see it if it were me.

    All you can do is let it fade or try to get her back in your life, it's hard to inhale but it's probably true.
  4. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    thanks for the advice.

    @ JBird - they sound like useful tips, ill try giving them a go but i see it being difficult (im not the sort of person to have hobbies and i dont like dealing with people/friendships).

    @ Angelo_91 - you are right it is all in my head but thats part of the problem

    oh well, ill just keep struggling on and try to deal with it.
  5. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    oh god, this sounds just like me. 2 months ago me and this girl i know went out for drinks and went back to her place. things went from there...didnt have sex but came very close to it. she now wants nothing to do with me and i think of her all the time. i just keep busy as well as drink and smoke my problems away.
  6. Jaybee

    Jaybee Member

    I was in your situation. I just read and wrote a lot. I hung out with my friends, went ot the beach, etc.
    In the end, I couldn't handle it, so I'm hanging out with the girl again. We've always been pretty close though. I rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.
  7. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Any possibility of finding another girl to try and build feelings for? Will help you forget about the other girl if you really can't see her again.
  8. Jaybee

    Jaybee Member

    I keep trying to do that, but my feelings for the first girl won't allow me to have feelings for anyone else. It just takes time... For now, get out and keep yourself busy.
  9. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member


    If she really doesn't want anything to do with you in a romantic way then the only thing you can do is as JBird said, distract yourself with other things. When I would miss my boyfriend or have something on my mind that wouldn't go away then I'd settle down and watch a movie or go round to family and friends houses 'cause that way you're so busy concerntrating on acting normal you forget to think about that thing/person for a while.

    In the end though, time will pass and you'll eventually stop thinking about her all the time without even realising it. Just got to have patience and do what you can do keep those thoughts at bay for the time being. ​