How do I tell him I'm insane?!

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Madam Mim, Jul 1, 2010.

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  1. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I've been sort of seeing this guy since February, but in May I had a suicidal crisis and couldn't deal with anyone, let alone him, so I sort of ignored him for a bit. Now things have improved, we're back to where we were, but I now need to explain why I cut him out. I have no idea how to do this. If we're going to have any kind of relationship, he has to know about the depression at least. I won't be able to hide my scars from him for much longer either, so I guess I'll have to tell him about the SI too.

    I have no idea how he'll take it, but he's such a good guy I have to take that risk, and I feel he deserves to know what's going on too. But how do I even begin to explain it to him? Any suggestions are more than welcome!

    Many thanks,
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Be open honest and truthful about it. He will repect your honesty and if it was meant to be he will love you more for your trust in him on this issue. Blessings..
  3. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Maybe show him your post?

    I hope everything works out, but be prepared if he doesn't understand (I don't want to be negative, but some people just don't get it).
  4. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Explain to him that you went through a really rough patch, and you were depressed. Make sure you apologize for pushing him away!
  5. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your replies and advice. I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and tell it like it is and hope for the best.

  6. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    definitely better to tell him now than ten years later, when he may possibly be like "oh, then, we weren't meant to be." and just up and leave and all those years wasted.
  7. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    Mental illness is terribly misunderstood and feared and sufferers are stigmatized by unfair and persistent misconceptions. Can you print up articles on each affliction that explains each infirmity in layman's language and walk him through each one with your own explanations. I have given articles on OCD to people who can't seem to grasp how severely debilitating my illness is and how it is not quirky and cute like television's "Monk" character.

    In my experience popular culture usually forms a person's entire idea about a mental illness. You wouldn't abandon a loyal and kind hearted man if he were stricken with life compromising illnesses and he shouldn't abandon you.
  8. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your advice, it is very useful. I haven't spoken to him about everything yet, but will do soon. I'm nervous, but I know it has to be done. I know that I should be no more ashamed of my mental illness than I should of a physical illness, but knowing a thing and feeling it's true are very different things!

  9. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Personally I would tell him bit by bit slowly, all at once could be a little overwhelming if he hasn't experienced anything similar himself.
    Definitely worth getting it out in the open though & if he's a decent guy he will support you through it. :hug:
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    If he's a decent guy, he will stay with you and help you get through your mental illness. If he's a jerk, he will bounce. Might as well find out sooner rather than later. Hope it goes well. :hug:
  11. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I know it's been ages since I posted this, but I finally met up with this guy again tonight, and apologised for my absence and told him that I'm depressed. I didn't go into detail, but he didn't freak out and just asked if I'm ok now and said that I shouldn't apoligise for that.

    He's such a good guy, I really like him a lot, even more now that it looks like he might be able to cope with the crazy.

    Thank you all for your advice and support.

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